Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITNEY!

Happy Birthday to my very very favorite!

I love your new album. I cried during your MTV special. I hope you are happier soon. Please know that I, and the world, love you.

Plus, look how effing hot you look. God. Damn.



mmmmmm papi!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

the boys are back



love.

because of: those teeth, the split jumps, the fact that you can leave him a phone message on his myspace and he might call you back... but really, what reason do I need beyond the following:



zefron! bandanas! BEST SCENE OF ANY MOVIE EVER.
I really love hsm.

Corbin Bleu ftw.

bowling blowing bowling blowing

this is such an invasion of privacy, but these girls are so effing cute I don't care. SLIDESHOWS! by crazy youtube lovin' fans! WHOOOOO!

Shenae baby



Cassie Steele's a badass



Miley, you little slut, I love you

white people like christian lander

Christian Lander did a new video thingy!



fucking. love. him.

it's a little known fact that all white children are gifted. 100%! that's a pretty good figure.

I, too, am a PC. MARRY ME.

The tron guy did one of these too, pretty hysterical shit

venting

So, let me say, this is mostly written so that I can bitch about stuff that's annoying, but I thought I should try to counter balance how bitter that could seem with the opposite... however, it's a lot harder to rant about things you like, so the negative section is bigger. Take it as you will.

eta: really, the only thing that makes me THAT mad is apparently ed hardy. Maybe I'll do another post where I discuss this more eloquently.

Things that I like a lot
(note: I in no way claim that these things are very original)

- yelling
- typing like you're yelling when something is important
- lolcats
- facebook
- rosebud salve
- mgmt, ezra furman, lykke li, eagles of death metal, ladytron, metric
- boots
- barack obama and the entire obama clan
- pickup trucks that are white
- jewelery that even I, the wearer, would have to classify as "slightly obnoxious"
- britney spears, her new album, her impending interview on mtv, her further impending tour... and really just everything about her. Love this bitch.
- lindsay's hair lately
- mixing metaphors
- guacamole
- the missbehave magazine blog
- mary kate maybe being pregnant
- the olsen's coffee table book
- everyone finally hating jessica simpson
- american apparel, fuck off, it's true
- pot

Things that I accept, albeit begrudgingly

- hilary is secretary of state
- coldplay is an ok band. Addendum: "Yellow" is still the worst song in the world.

Things that make me physically angry to think about

- anything and everything designed by christian audigier. If you wear Ed Hardy, you fucking lose. It's hideous, it was really cool in 2003 but now it's just fucking terrible. It's gone the way of trucker hats, just stop wearing it, you look like a douchebag. Tigers? Vines? Hearts with daggers in them? You're not poetic. If you want a shirt with animals on it, wear this one, I swear to GOD you look cooler than you do in Ed Hardy.

YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO GET LAID IN THIS THAN IN ED HARDY.
I'm serious. Stop wearing it. It's heinous, not fashionable, and you look like an asshole. SO ANGRY.
- the above includes his daughter crystal
- mood (the club)... this is like, a microcosm of what's wrong with LA.
- yes on 8, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM CALIFORNIA god dammit. Separate but equal IS NOT EQUAL. HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING.
- jessica simpson, ashlee simpson, pete wentz, john mayer - the quadrangle of douchiness
- Kanye. SHUT. UP. And why did you stop rapping you're not a singer uuuunnnngh
- urban outfitters selling everything I bought at thrift stores for a dollar last year, but for like $80 and to every style impaired high school senior IN THE WORLD.
- Twilight. I don't get it and I don't care. Angel's hotter than this edward dude, the chick in this movie looks super stoned and needs to get some sun, girls are asking the actor to BITE THEM because kids are so crazy now... it's like buffy, but much, much lamer and with way more annoying fans.

Friday, November 28, 2008

by the book

maybe this is old news, but it's so weird.



I don't really ddr, but this is still funny. is rock band the new ddr? america's ddr, maybe?

harder? better? faster?

neato, right?


Interactive Video Object Manipulation from Dan Goldman on Vimeo.

I think it's cool.

on another note, facebook's embedded ads are freakily relevant, it's like they read my emails.

Monday, November 24, 2008

let's make out

BRITNEY IS GOD. peep the album kids: http://www.britney.com/blog/full-circus-album-preview... I'm obsessed with Mmm Papi in sort of a sick way, but Kill The Lights and Circus are life changing. LOVE YOU BRITNEEEEYYYYY!

You're in...
I think I'm ready for my close up..
Yeah

You don't like me, I don't like you, It don't matter (Who?)
Only difference, You still listen, I don't have to (Who?)
In one ear and, Out the other, I don't need you (Who?)
Your words don't stick, I ain't perfect, but you ain't either (Who?)

If your feeling groggily (Oh)
I ain't even lose no sleep (Oh)
Theres more to me than what you see (Oh)
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry..

Mr. Photographer
I think I'm ready for my close-up tonight
Make sure you catch me from my good side pick one
These other (HA) just wanna be me
Is that money in your pocket?
Or you happy to see me?

Kill the Lights!
Take 'em out, turn 'em off, break 'em down)
Kill the Lights!
Don't be scared, make a move, see me now?)
Kill the Lights!
I've seen you, watching me, watching you)
Kill the Lights!
You can't handle the truth
What happened to you?

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action


All the flashin', tryin' to cash-in
Hurts my eyes
All the poses, out of focus
I despise

Eff me over, your exposure
Not the best
You want me bad, I want you out
Release this stress.

Mr. Photographer
I think I'm ready for my close-up tonight
Make sure you catch me from my good side pick one
These other just wanna be me
Is that money in your pocket?
Or you happy to see me?

Kill the Lights!
(Take 'em out, turn 'em off, break 'em down)
Kill the Lights!
(Don't be scared, make a move, see me now?)
Kill the Lights!
(I've seen you, watching me, watching you)
Kill the Lights!
You can't handle the truth
What happened to you?

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action

You're the star now, welcome to the big league
They all want a pic, they all wanna see, see, see
What you're made of... what you're gonna do
Is life gonna get the best of you?

Kill the Lights!
(Take 'em out, turn 'em off, break 'em down)
Kill the Lights!
(Don't be scared, make a move, see me now?)
Kill the Lights!
(I've seen you, watching me, watching you)
Kill the Lights!
You can't handle the truth
What happened to you?

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action

Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh
Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh
Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh
Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh

[Laughter]

Thursday, November 20, 2008

hara-jew-coup

Q-Pot might be the greatest jewelry site ever.

I can't get pictures to work but these melty things are my fave so far... holler japan, way to go

eta: OH MY GOD this is cute.

the mk to my a

well, I'm buying these.



they're like the ones MK wore with that cool onesie thingie... here!



I mean in black... soooo stripper, SO CHEAP, so classy. God, I better go today before they run out.

IS SHE SMOKING UP OUTSIDE?



soooo I know we already voted and whatnot (no on 8, still goin' strong, btw), but thingsarefine.org is a grrrreat site. tons of posters like the banner above, I die.

I stole that from Rachel Zoe because I LOVE HER. and fur. I love fur.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

inspiration!

new elizabeth and james line's up... cuuuuuute check it. I want pretty much all of it.

ew hilary duff

I love personal jesus. but this... this is painful.

Hilary Duff - Reach Out - Official Music Video Premiere


acting? no. singing well? no. being interesting? no.
I actually pulled for H Duff a little, but this is so bad it's hard to watch. I don't recommend it, actually. Not sure why I put it there.

Friday, October 3, 2008

past is prologue

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEAAAAAAASE AMERICA. VOTE FOR OBAMA.

Sarah Palin is not "folksy", she is an idiot. Sarah Palin's antics are not "cute" or "adorable", they are terrifying. This woman could be the president. THE PRESIDENT. And she can't even speak in complete sentences. She can't give ONE specific case of how McCain's policies differ from George Bush's. She claims to read "all of" the news publications, and can't think of ONE FUCKING SINGLE NAME when asked for specifics. She got her passport in 2007... one year ago. She claims to be "joe six-pack" but SHE IS WORTH $1.2 MILLION. See for yourself here. She answered the questions regarding her role as VP in a manner so clearly reminiscent of Dick Cheney (claiming that the definition in the constitution was "flexible" and she'd like to take on a more prominent role), which should terrify everyone in a way that little else can.

I'm sick of this. I abhor this woman. Take your trashy ass back to fucking Alaska. AND DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE EVER TALK ABOUT JOE BIDEN'S DEAD WIFE. YOU ASSHOLE.

unnnnngh the rage. I might pass out.
Vote Obama. It's do or die time.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Jack Cafferty FTW



JUST FUCKING KILL ME.
Still love ya' Bris Bris, you little hooker you

oh have I not mentioned this on here? I've decided to be obsessed with Bristol Palin. I have her cell phone number! what a lil' babymaker.

YOU WANNA BE ON TOP?

Could Clark possibly be more annoying and not attractive and lame in general? COULD SHE PLEASE JUST TRY TO SEE IF IT'S POSSIBLE? GOD. She sucks. Get an upper lip.


Additionally, if Marjorie doesn't get some fucking self esteem I'm going to dive into the tv and make her cry. WITH MY WORDS.


oh Elina really bugs me too. And McKey. Where did these girls COME from?

Samantha, Analeigh or Lauren Brie FTW.
ok or maybe Sheena.

WHERE'D THIS GUY GO???

Hey kids! So. This was going to be a Hot Canadian, because his dad is Canadian (and Canadian never lets go. Like Jack.), but he was, unfortunately, born in Los Angeles. However, he remains amazing. He is Sasha Jenson. You may know him as Don, the lovable football player who only thinks about getting laid and who wears overalls, in Dazed and Confused. If you don't know him from that, you probably don't know him. THAT IS IRRELEVANT. He's great. And PRACTICALLY CANADIAN!!!! Here's a picture to jog your memory:



Yeah, that's the worst picture ever, but YOU try finding a picture of him. The last thing he did was in fucking 93, way pre-internet. It's impossible. So here's him, in Dazed and Confused, with Matthew McConaughey (or however you spell that). I should be commended just for finding a picture of Matty with his shirt on.

MOVING ON.

Far more importantly than this hippy nonsense (to me and anyone who loves tv/movies that should matter but don't), he was one of the popular kids who got vampired in the Buffy movie that pre-empted that (MUCH LOVED) series. It starred (in case you don't remember due to a massive head trauma or being lame) Kristy Swanson and Luke Perry. CAN YOU IMAGINE ANYTHING BETTER??? Anyways, he totes tried to kill her at prom, and he got his heart stabbed. In a hot way. He's a part of two movies that do, or should, define my generation, and I'm pretty upset (at this point tonight while sort of fucked up and watching dazed and confused on HBO) that he didn't achieve more success. HOW MUCH SHOULD HE BE ON SOME LAW AND ORDER REDUX? He'd be a great truancy cop.

anyways...

So he hasn't been in anything since 2003, and honestly, he hasn't been in anything we've heard of since Dazed and Confused. But let's be honest. He was hot in those overalls, and that's hard to do. He had great hair, and I really think that had he been given a role as the hilarious neighbor in... say... a sitcom starring kirk cameron as the older brother of Devon Sawa (AND WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT HOT ASS KID GO??) or something, he could have been major. Or, as my friend just suggested, as Eric on Boy Meets World, in an alternate universe where the guy who actually played Eric never existed. I'M JUST SAYING.

So. Sasha Jenson. Underappreciated, totally hot... and TOTALLY (almost) Canadian. I demand a movie.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Emmy Commentary!!!

I missed the beginning? So I am pretending this is part 2 of this post.

Hmmm... I wish the laugh-in revamp had gotten a better reception. Lily Tomlin is really a classic figure in comedy, and that show really was revolutionary... I don't remember it well enough to tell if the characters were making mistakes in this little skit, or if they're just kind of old now. I hope it's the latter.

John Stewart is so classy... they won best variety and he waited in the aisle for the entire crew to pass and gave each one a hug before they went up. The man is just great.

LC designed the Emmy models' dress? weird? Also, I now have to hate her, because she got to present with Angel. NO. FAIR. I LOVE ANGEL.

... OH GOD and she got to present to TINA FEY!! God this girl is so lucky it makes me just want to diiiiieeeeee (still love her though - and girl looks HOT, can't argue with that). Tina Fey also looks just gorgeous. LETS FIND PICTURES!



Her boobs looks freaking fantastic.



WORK the curves, Tina! Awesome. She looks awesome.

So there is some HARDCORE avoidance of political opinions on this show... I heard that it was essentially "banned" by NBC which... well, some see the constant flow of actor opinions as having been harmful to Obama in this campaign. And that could be true, I don't know - people are swayed by weird stuff, and pay no attention to some stuff they really should (like, say, facts). Regardless, however, I feel that if these people feel strongly enough, and manage to win an emmy, and have that 30 seconds on live television to get some message out to the world... well then they should be able to say whatever they damn well please. IF THE REPUBLICANS DONT WANT TO GET HATED ON BY ACTORS MAYBE THEY SHOULD BE MORE APPEALING AS A PARTY.

There's an emmy for "reality competition program". I just threw up a little.

Recount just won. HOW CAN THEY DENY THE POLITICALNESS OF THIS? Blah.

There really aren't a ton of people I like getting attention... I mean, the standards are Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, John Stewart and Stephen Colbert... who are dominating the screen, no doubt... but I want a tv drama star. So I guess that means Lost... jesus what have I been watching for the past year? OOOH! I want NPH to win. Did that award already happen? Was he nominated? How I Met Your Mother FTW!
... ok I looked it up. He WAS nominated but Piven got it. Ok. Acceptable. I would also have accepted: Rainn Wilson.

Don Rickles is great. GREAAAT. Kathy Griffith is shaking laughing.

I really, really love Neil Patrick Harris. And! he presented Don Rickles with his Emmy! that's great all around.

WHOA Cynthia Nixon looks skiiiinnnyyyyyyyy. But, her hair looks AWESOME.

Ok. I'm bored. Let's assume Lost and 30 Rock win, even though they won't. And now that that's taken care of, I'm off to get beer. WISH ME LUCK!

hummus sounds good...



Follow the word of the pita. Obamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Thursday, September 18, 2008

zebediah

I don't understand "saving for the rainy day" its like, live now! Live like its your last day every day." Rachel Zoe

everything about her show makes me like her immensely, but I feel like she's incredibly unlikable at the same time. I'M SO CONFLICTED.

I think a large part of my growing-by-the-moment affection is based on a) how teeny tiny she is, b) her consistent wearing of fur and c) the fact that she was married to her husband well before any of the mainstream had ever heard of her.

I guess my only conflict, really, is coming from how demonized she was (though it sounds like for good reason) over the slew of anorexic clients a couple years ago. But really? Even if she DID give these girls horse tranquilizers or whatevs, it's not like Nicole Richie and L. Lo were pillars of stability and health. And, let's be honest, regardless of whether they were "too skinny", while she was their stylist those girls looked fab at everything. And in Hollywood, you can't argue with a best dressed list.

Maybe my conflict with her is tied in with my conflict of loving the super skinny look but disliking how unhealthy it is? I want to look like Kate Moss, and I don't begrudge Lilo or anyone else that same desire. However, I also do not begrudge them a sandwich or 2, and would rather not have to worry that my beloved starlets are going to crack a rib if they have to laugh in a movie (a worry which is torturing me in reference to my new love, Silver, who looks like she just might crack in half - but whose character (and yes I know Silver is the character but go with it), luckily, is not a big laugher, due to the fact that she's supremely fucked up and guarded. SAFE FOR NOW, until she gets farther into this just begun evolution, at the end of which we have to assume she'll be "likable", meaning unlikable to us, the viewers. MUCH LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS SHOW, with the returning cast, Jessica Walter, and Mr. Matthews obviously excepted. OOOOOH MY GOD BY THE WAY!!! DYLAN!!! HOOORAY!!! GOD I want the love triangle so bad. So, so bad. WOW quite a tangent here, yeah?).

So, therein lies the conundrum. I hope you follow.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

kenley is insufferable

Rihanna and ti sampling numa numa might be the most hilarious thing ever...



and also one of the best examples of how the internet is influencing... well, everything. Here's the throwback in case you've been, like, dead or something for the last 4 years.



mai la HAHA!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I kind of love Silver

OH MY GOD WHO IS KELLY'S BABY'S FATHER???!!!? IS IT DYLAN BECAUSE IF LUKE PERRY MAKES AN APPEARANCE I WILL JUST ACTUALLY DIE. AAAAAAHHHHHH

eta: Naomi's dad is cheating on her mom with a woman named GAIL?? lame. Have her name be Natalie or Lucinda or some shit. Please.

also... oooh! Kelly's mom's back!!


OH GOD EDITING AGAIN WHAT THE HELL IS LORI LAUGHLIN WEARING?? that dress shouldn't exist.

just a creative homeless guy

GUESS WHO'S JEWISH!!!!!





Jews and Canadians are SO. GREAT.

stride commercials bug me

look at this! it's from comic con (or however the hell they choose to spell that). It's Christian Lander! He's so cute and cuddly and canadian and c-awesome. "cleavage - both positive and negative". ha.



aawwwww

Friday, September 5, 2008

I love this



It's charming, it's innovative, it's entertaining and bright and good job bill gates. being that rich and likable is difficult.

that being said... Sarah Palin? I really hope this is as ridiculous as it has to get before the final nail's in the coffin... I want a blowout. No good argument, mccain, what on earth... lindsay lohan called her the lynne spears of politics.

So there's that, the support of the death that is speidi, and this...



oh yeah and a pregnant daughter. I don't care if her daughter's pregnant, but what if Barack Obama's daughter was pregnant? would it be private then? not a shot. a woman is not hilary, this woman is not ready to be president of the united states, and THAT is the final point, when it comes down to it.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

gonna be a big man someday



I hate pink and beyonce, individually, for completely different reasons.



and this is absolutely my least favorite Michael Jackson song.

go figure.

Friday, August 22, 2008

whistle while you work

Christian Lander picture day!!!?!! I know. It's almost too good to be true.

Here's Christian Lander on a bridge in a place that I have to assume is in Indiana, based purely on how weird and small-towny it looks!
Well, either that or somewhere Swiss...

Here's Christian Lander with an itty bitty kitty!

IT'S PINK! Like my love for Christian Lander.

HERE'S CHRISTIAN LANDER PUTTING ICE IN BEER ON THE SIDEWALK!
Why are you puttin' ice in your beer, Christian? Maybe you're making brass monkeys? let's hope there's more to this story.

HAAAPPPY FRIDAYYYYYY!

moment of blog: august 22

bai ling, you are so crazy.

"I love the sunny lazy afternoon on Friday driving and shooting some cool stough in Hollywood.......

Look at those 2 on the wall, they are happy? Or just happy they stuck on the wall? Or just really unhappy? Why are they there up high on Friday on the wall? Do they live there and just happened when I walk by to emerge to see the weather while they just woke up?

What is their plan for tonight?"


just to give you some perspective, she's talking about paintings of rugrats characters. no no. I'm serious.

I'll dance my life away

THIS EXISTS IN REAL LIFE

And that, honestly, makes me really happy. Next month: Applebees!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

rough day at the goldmines

I just had the creepiest like, flash thought of China getting hit by some, like, freak natural disaster right at the end of the Olympics. But it's like, created by someone, a weather bomb, kind of, on the olympics. It'd probably be from Japan. Not because Japan is bad in any way, I'm a fan as far as I know... but just because they're the only country I would believe could plausibly engineer such an attack (they have UNDERWEAR in VENDING MACHINES). Oh god am I going to get patriot acted?

anyways, yay olympics! beijing! no hurricanes.

ALL 7 AND WE'LL WATCH THEM FALL

LISTEN TO THESE SONGS ALL THE TIME
I know they're not all new THATS OKAY

Shake it - Metro Station
Kiss with a Fist - Florence and the Machine
Deep at Night - Ercola vs. DJ Heikki L

that's all for now but they're good on repeat.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Ryan Lochte is more fun than Michael Phelps. Probably.

cat
more cat pictures

hahahaha I love lolcats so much.

long time... I've been writing everything on my blackberry, and there it sits, ready to be posted. Any day now there will be a cavalcade, if that's a word, of posts. much like the great shark week quake of 08, it's going to rock your world.

Monday, August 4, 2008

get busy livin: best wishes morgan freeman

Mario lopez managed to become so cool that, going to a commercial on dance crew he said "ABDC, keep it locked"... And then he winked... And I DIDNT FIND IT ANNOYING. I mean there people that can pull that off, but almost entirely they are people who, at least initially, were comedy-based. Him and neil patrick harris have fuckin ANSWERS man.

That was going to end there but... I get that they were both on sitcoms, which are... Well, situational comedies, you could say. So they could be seen as comedic actors... But there's a distinction between the artistic images they have and, say, a will ferrell. I guess it comes down to, if you flipped to a channel and this person was on, whether you would automatically KNOW it was a comedy. There's the distinction.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

This is gonna be the best shark week ever!

WHAT UP LA
So I know it's shark week, and asking you to leave the vicinity of your television is not only cruel, it's downright disrespectful... but regardless. It's time to get our hope on.



Obama is so hip, so cool, so very "very". GOD I LOVE HIM.
So if you're in LA, get yo' ass to the Echoplex and let's Barack the fuckin' vote.
yes... yes, we can.

Monday, July 21, 2008

it's in the game

Christian Lander is in a commercial!



Aw! he's so good! charming, photogenic, self-deprecating... and canadian. swoon.
I really love when photo celebs go live action.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Mario Lopez

I LOOOOOVE Americas Best Dance Crew (if you're not watching it, I DONT CARE HOW LAME YOU THINK IT IS IN THEORY, you MUST watch. It's amaaazing), but I can NOT handle shows where "America Votes!". Fuck people, man, Xtreme Dance Force was DOPE, they just got NO cred because they're rich white boys. So what, man, those boys can dance their asses off. I hope the little kid on that crew** isn't like, five foot nothing, because if he's taller than me... well, I hope to marry him. That boy's got some SHIT. In a totally, totally good way. XTREME DANCE FORCE, Keep it up, you're fuckin dope and society needs some fuckin cute boys that are (even potentially) straight. No offense, Zac Efron. I mean, you may be the prettiest human that's existed in the history of existence (and that's not exaggeration), but... let's be honest. Believing you're straight just seems far too optimistic.

(Additionally, however, I'd like to emphasize that you're fucking bomb in... well, High School Musical, but also everything else, and this should in no way be seen as any sort of criticism... it's just that no one as hot as you could possibly be even remotely attainable. Or like, the world would explode, or something.)

nobody believed (or even believes entirely, despite his dating of SEVERAL vicky's models) that Leo was straight either. So... I guess play retarded and you're oscar bound?

Then again I guess that's true for anyone that has any recognizability... play retarded or aids-having and you're almost assured a nod. But... and, let's be honest... no one wants to see Zac Efron retarded. We want to see him... well, flirting. With me. IN REAL LIFE.

God I hate being way too old for my crushes.



**I'm SCOURING the internet, how is there not a fucking profile? I love these boys.

(again... too old for these crushes. I need to stick to Chad from Alltell (my TOP celeb crush, shut up you're dumb, he's fucking hot)... I bet he's around my age.)

read!

So the stuff white people like book came out, and let me tell you, it is well worth the buy. The quiz is hilarious. GO BUY IT SUPPORT... White people? And Christian Lander!!

i hope linds gets gay married

So I'm watching georgia rule and linds is in a vets office making pizza, or something, I don't know I just turned it on, but when she opens the fridge you can see a sugar free red bull. Which is totally lindsays, right? I mean real lindsay. I hate when movies mess up, how hard is it kids.

Ok, retracted, linds (in the movie) is drinking it now. Touche.

shut up jamie lynn

NO FUCKING WAY!! Shannen doherty, who I love, is going to be... Are you ready? Brenda walsh. She's back, I loooove brenda, she's so intense, and we know kellys back as like, the guidance counselor, so that means draaaamaaaa. I would give up... Anything, eating, if they could get luke perry. He's... Ok, I love him, but... A little old, so it would be ridiculous, but I mean... Want an automatic fanbase of every girl and more than a handful of guys who were in highschool between 1986 and 2000? Bring back that love triangle. I hope shenae grimes is good.

born in the usa

NonononoNONONO! DO NOT give them a show! What is wrong with everybody?!? They are vile conniving douchebags. STOP LOOKING AT THEM.

I hesitate to say, but I truly believe it... They WILL destroy your soul. They are the face of everything that is wrong. Stop looking and they'll go away!! We have to unite. I'm totally serial.

Friday, June 27, 2008

watch americas best fance crew

Plaid is so hot right now.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

hold on loosely

Jamie-Lynn Spears has given birth.

That is all.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

5 dollar footlongs

The way they're marketing hancock is really interesting. They're just letting a little bit go at a time. First there was just him flying onto a beach, grabbing a whale and throwing it... And hitting a boat. (Wait, sorry... FIRST there were building sized posters for it in la with no real descriptive images. Weird.) Ok so then there was the whale throwing but also him flying around drunk and generally being a goofy fuckup. So then we had a protagonist. Then there was the flying drunk, and some guy confronting him and encouraging him to use his powers for good. And either with that or the next one, we have Hancock talking and taking on becoming the hero he can be. So he's the Rudy of superheroes. In a way. And now, the newest ones, we see him start to become a real superhero. So... If you think about it, if you wait a few more weeks they'll probably have covered most of the plot, and you can save a buck.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

moment of blog: june 11

well Bai Ling has done it again. Here's your moment of blog.

"I can't believe it, there are life orenge trees just stand in front of me and behind me when I walked out of the door, so fresh and real, it opened my eyes instincly from the tiredness of the daily life. How magic nature is and life, the color tha shape, the test of its own individul flaver, can't figure it out how, but I always think nature is the master of Art, they create all kinds of art in all kinds of ways to please us, to give us joy and fun and enlightment and love. I am lucky to see those orenge trees and to test its flaver of freshness just right there, just after the sunset but we still can see the color of the orenge, yes, all the fresh orenges just like hundreds of the reduced sun, maybe there are the baby the sun left for us after he is gone for the day? Maybe the sun is just a gigantic fresh orenge hanging on a big invisible earth tree?"

Maybe, Bai Ling. May... be.

hit me with your best shot and fire away

Leonard from Big Bang Theory (which I'll plug again because I think it's HILARIOUS... a fact that I think I need to credit in large part to Kaley Cuoco (sp?) because I've been watching 8 Simple Rules reruns and I like THAT too, so maybe she's just awesome? Or maybe she just picks good shows) is Trouty on My Boys (another show that I love love love and face a lot of disagreement on). That's kind of awesome, way to show some range.

The actor is Johnny Galecki I guess he was on Roseanne too although I never watched that (I know. shut up.) and he was born in Belgium so that's fun (he's American though, don't worry).

That's all I got.

fist bump

So there's not going to be one fucking blonde girl on the new 90210? Who are we kidding? Not ONE?

Plus the "quirky" girl is SUPER annoying. Wearing headbands from American Apparel doesn't make you quirky or interesting. It doesn't make you NOT these things, by any means, but YOU NEED TO TRY HARDER, PRODUCERS.

this is not getting off to a good start.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

BARACK OBAMA FOR PRESIDENT!

Obama is the Democratic nominee for 2008!!!!!!
This... is.. the day I have been waiting for.



Obama Nation, I love it.
BARACK OBAMA FOR PRES 08!!!!!

Monday, June 2, 2008

no air no air

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

So there's this commercial for mercury insurance where they are joking about how they "need a cute mascot". Which is, clearly, saying 'don't be sucked in by the gecko' (so - guess Geico's doing well). Well... Fuck that. Wrong angle to take, Mercury, because the Geico gecko is the best thing to happen to commercials since a frog said "bud".

Stephen Colbert just had a ddr-off with Rain, the Korean (maybe? I hope) pop star that crazies flood the Time Top 100 People message board with plugs for, and who otherwise I have never heard mentioned until this point. Anyway, good choice, Rain's publicist.

living lohan is pure evil

I'm beginning to worry that kung fu panda might be really awesome.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

creative differences

because Christian Lander picture day was missed, I'm making it today. So here it is!



This is the picture of Christian Lander that was IN LA WEEKLY!! He's blowin' up!!! He was in the Los Angeles People of 2008 issue, which... seems a bit early in the year? but I'm so proud of him! I mean, despite not actually knowing him. Oh Christian, let's hang out. You can even bring your wife. Seriously.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Hot Canadians: Shenae Grimes

Shenae Grimes is our new reigning hot Canadian, as our last May candidate fell apart mid-article. He should really learn to keep it together.

Shenae Grimes is gorgeous. Here's what I assume is a personal photo and it makes me kind of love her.



She is really very normal-girl gorgeous but still manages to be unique and interesting, and she truly has a star quality, I believe. She is from Toronto and is only 18, young even for the Degrassi cast (before the new characters were added she was the youngest).

Shenae Grimes is Darcy on Degrassi. Darcy... until very recently... was so fucking awful. Not PLAYED awfully by any means, so no flack to Shenae. But Darcy was a very frustratingly self-righteous bible thumping cheerleader and everything she was involved with became incredibly convoluted and hypocritical to the point where you could just dive through the tv and shake her. this is what she looks like in the credits:



Here's a rundown: Darcy's first appearance was as the girl who Toby paid 5 bucks to kiss Rick because Rick felt bad that he was getting slaughtered in their bet that they could get more girls to kiss them in a day (Rick lost because everyone hated him because he put Terry in a coma). I am 99% sure that was her first speaking role, though she may have had a line as a cheerleader previously. Anyways. She slowly worked her way in later after Rick shot Jimmy and subsequently shot himself and then Spinner admitted that he had told Rick that Jimmy had pulled the prank that led to the shooting and then all of Spinner's friends hated him and so he was completely alone and befriended Darcy, the only person in a while to be nice to him. They were clearly flirting and then she invited him to Friendship Club, the Christian club. Spinner found their welcoming attitude and lack of judgement over his previous discretions comforting, and so he became something of a member and he and Darcy started dating. She was a virgin, he wasn't (duh, Paige). There was some drama here and there, mostly Spinner being something of a dick and Darcy overreacting because she took everything as a moral outrage because she had no defined personality. Also she was (during this and sometimes after) incredibly self-righteous and judgmental, (the best example being her refusing to let Mia onto the cheerleading squad, despite her being perfect for it, because she was a teen mother). Then her identity crisis started to take over and she started posting racy pictures of herself on the internet, which progressed to nearly porn-like levels when Peter's "friend" Adams, a reader of her blog, offered money for more pictures and she agreed because cheerleading wanted sluttier shorts, and Peter, who sucks, took the pictures. Then Adams, the online stalker, turned out to not be Peter's friend but just a perv and he showed up at her house and there was this whole to-do. Before that, Peter, who sucks, showed Danny and Derek the pictures,and Spinner found out, and they broke up. Then he slept with Paige, then she took him back, then she found out he slept with Paige, then they broke up, then she went to bible camp for the summer and then... they're friends.

So.

Then, somehow, I sort of forget because it was pretty gradual, her and Peter started dating. Hmmmm I really can't remember the specific tipping point. But she was still really internally conflicted about the whole picture thing and sort of got depressed and then she got drunk while at a party at some resort or something and then she got drugged and raped. WHOA. Peter and her broke up because she didn't remember so he just thought that she got drunk and lost her virginity to someone else, and once she remembered she was too ashamed to talk about it, but she finally did and he was pretty supportive... but in the midst of all this she completely lost it and was totally bitchy to everyone, and worst of all, totally started blatantly flirting with Mr. Simpson, and then when he gave her a low grade she said that he had been flirtatious with her and essentially ruined his life because even though she came clean and got cleared... once that kind of thing is out there there's always the slight question, you know? it's really heartbreaking. Anyways. Then she went on this retreat with the kid who killed JT's friend and Peter and some other bad kids, and she finally realized it's not her fault.

SO.

Now her and Peter are dating and she is sort of becoming friends with Spinner's new girlfriend Jane, who I'm not sure if I care for yet, and she's finally humbled and a genuinely good person.

Got it?
Good.

So, she's also been cast as the lead character in the new 90210 (which I am skeptically excited about). That's kind of huge, both because that show is going to generate a TON of hype despite how good it ends up being and will raise her recognizability significantly, and because as far as a I know no other Degrassi kid has yet had a starring role in another show (or even a major role on a non-N show). Pretty major. Her character has been described as "the Brenda", and is named Annie Mills. This is the character that Hilary Duff was going to play (hypothetically). The show centers around 3 generations of her family. The only well known adult cast on the show is Lori Loughlin which means... she might be playing her mom? Loughlin looks way too young for that to me (although she isn't), but okay.

Here's a picture of her at some CW party...



Shenae Grimes is, clearly, kind of awesome. Shenae sang a part of a Christmas record by some band called Fucked Up, with Nelly Furtado and others. Apparently in the song, Shenae wishes Toronto-ans a "Merry fucking whatever!"... which is lovable.

So there you go. Shenae Grimes: Up-and-coming Canadian, and a friend to you and me. And, hopefully, the gays.

I'm still a PC, but the pull is strong

So maybe this is retarded. But doesn't PC stand for Personal Computer? Are Macs not personal? Maybe the PC market should push that angle. Macs: sleeker and trendier, and with Justin Long, but not confident enough to put "personal" in their name. THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU!

(Not-So) Hot Canadians: Danso Gordon

This is Danso Gordon. Say hello.



He's Canadian! I was watching South of Nowhere, The N's best show besides Degrassi (and maybe as good now that those crazy Canadians have gotten all slicked out and popular), and I thought, are these actors Canadian too? I checked Mandy Musgrave and Christian... Something (the two girls) first, because they're the main characters, I guess, but they're from DC and Florida (reverse respectively). But! Then I checked this feller out, and he's from Toronto!

well, this is where this ends. Doing some research, I found that he left South of Nowhere due to their "pro-homosexual agenda". I guess everyone has a right to their own opinion, but I can no longer include him with the likes of the joyous Christian Lander and Tokyo Police Club (though, admittedly, I do not know their views on homosexuality, I do know that their DISLIKE of homosexuality is not something that has been relevant enough to be included on their wikipedia page (and Christian Lander IS searchable on Wikipedia, I checked, although it does redirect to the "Stuff White People Like" page. Which is acceptable for now)).

I may decide to take this down, but I'm feeling bold right now so here goes.

you could literally cruise the vistas in it

So... I read this somewhere else, but it ones to be one of the names I liked for MY (hypothetical) kids, so I feel like I should publicly agree... No more naming your kid Madison. It's like naming your kid Courtney in 1995. Basically, it was so original and cute like 6 years ago, when everyone in my age bracket was in their mid-teens, which is when girls decide on these names that they hang onto for years until they have children. But... now it's everywhere. I THINK it was the top girl's name last year. That's crazy. Like, above Sarah or Elizabeth. What happened to the classics? So, here's the thing. EVEN if you liked it before it was popular, it's now played out. Don't do it. I could go on but I think you get it. The name is over, and... Shiloh is the new Madison (Suri is a cuter name but no one wants to be like TomKat), so if you're 16, think of something else. I promise, you'll be happy you did.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

come to cali and get gay married!

I am sooooo into andrew from top chef. I'm watching last nights right now and I feel like he is getting kicked off, which breaks my heart. He is such a tweaker but I think he is hilarious. Bravo always brings the hotties.

Monday, May 12, 2008

you know you love me

I fucking KNEW the cheating was a cover up... Although I'm pretty sure that what actually happened is going to be anticlimactic, like they were all on drugs and some dude died and she didn't save him. But... Man this show is awesome. Why is chuck so hot??

This ep really could use some jenny though

Friday, May 9, 2008

farmer shouldnt wear girls v neck shirts

Ok so I'm from the midwest and maybe life is just way different there... But, I'm watching farmer wants a wife and... Do people really get to age 21 without ever having milked an animal? Like... I haven't milked anything recently, because I don't really care about animals and whatever, but with preschool and summer camp and field trips and all that, I've probably milked 20 cows or so, not to mention a few goats. God maybe growing up in the midwest is really weird, even as I'm writing this I can see how insane it looks to someone from like LA. We also call parking structures "ramps", btw.

But also my entire willingness to accept the premise of this show was blown, because he showed up to the girls' house in overalls over a purple deep v neck t that I'm pretty sure I have and is american apparel. So, either a) he is getting dressed by producers who are retarded, b) he is gay or c) he is not a farmer. My guess is d) all of the above.

ALSO, politics has been brought up entirely too much. People get uncomfortable when characters are vocally opposed to their political views.

I should sleep, but duty calls.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

solve any crime by dinner time

so I guess I'm like the only person in the world that thinks Mary-Kate looks awesome in this outfit...



And it's not even because I love her. I love the gold, I love the shoes, I love the vintage-store-find type cut of the dress, I love the messy hair... she looks great. I really don't see what people aren't liking? Like, they're commenting that it's "too big" but... it's not. And they're commenting that it's too drapey, but... drapey is a look too, deal with it. And they're commenting about her hair looking bad but... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO DO THE MESSY/HOT THING? It's hard and I love it.

Even weirder is that everyone's talking about how amazing Ashley looked, and while she does look like a real live grown up in that dress, she also sort of looks like she just got a chemical peel or something...



I mean, right? She looks weird. She looks like Marcia Brady. Or like she needs a shower. Or some combination thereof. Ew, actually, I figured it out, but it's too terrible... in the picture to the left, she looks like Dominique from Next Top Model (the one who's on right now)... and if you're watching you're aware that that is not a compliment. Pull it together, Ash, are you wasted?

Also, MK is wearing like 3 inch heels, what the hell shoes is Ashley rocking to pull this height difference off?

Monday, May 5, 2008

wii boxing is the new morality

Ok so on The Paper (a show of near Hills quality, I have an icky 17 year old crush on Alex), Alex, managing editor, said to "the guys", "Ms weiss should totally have based her decision for editor in chief on a game of wii boxing". Okay? And also tonight on Big Bang Theory (which is amazing), all the nerd guys are fighting over Sheldon's hot twin sister and Leonard says "let's settle this in a mature fashion" or something along those lines, and then it flashes forward to them Wii boxing... !! Weird right?

Sunday, May 4, 2008

I don't think PretyBoy is as bad as they're acting

Are there commercials for California in other states? The ones I just saw are on E(!) so I guess maybe it's because people watching that channel are into Hollywood or whatever? But why are they in California? We already live here. Unless they're aimed at the tourists who are in town and happen to be watching tv... but that seems like a pretty small target market.

shut up about the miley cyrus pic disney your next biggest star is pregnant

know what's really weird? nerd sex.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Barack Obama left a comment on your blog

Things you can't do coked up is the funniest shit ever. Followed closely in awesomeness by Barack Obama is your new bicycle. Aaaaand there's 2 hours of your day.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

poor katarzyna

Whoa whoa whoa... Amanda on Farmer Wants a Wife has a seriously unfortunate hairstyle happening, it makes her forehead look enormous. Oy.

if you want me baby here I am

ok look Lauren Conrad does NOT have a sex tape have you ever SEEN the hills? SERIOUSLY? she DID. NOT. make a sex tape. EVERYTHING THEY SAY IS A LIE STOP FUCKING LISTENING TO THEM ugh I hope they die in a fire.

too hostile?

Monday, April 28, 2008

ONE THING I CAN TELL YOU IS YOU GOT TO BE FREE

humorous pictures
see more crazy cat pics

awwwww!

Coachella was fucking dope. Prince was epic. He did a cover of Come Together that blew my mind. But I know why you're really reading this, so I won't keep you waiting any longer. Here's Christian Lander!!!



CHRISTIAN LANDER IS THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD!!! god I love canada.
soooo tired.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Moment of blog: COACHELLA!!!!!

HOORAY! Coachella started today, I'm leaving work in 10 and going straight down there I'm SO. PUMPED. And guess who else is going?? BAI LING!!! HOOORAAAAAAYYY!

and here it is, your moment of blog...

You know when I was in the army in Tibet, when there is a war and the leader will pull out a map or those human made little wooden models to show you what's going on or where you should go or hide or to attack which mountain, I thought somebody is doing this somewhere positioning us all --- over the world, just like the director on set, " Bailing you come here, no here! " Someone puts me here and positioned my fate. We are the miracle of nature, just like nature is our miracle, we just have to stuck somewhere and be happy. See this is what you do when you get bored, you imaging and slip into Another world witch is invisible to our lives nomally. I am looking for the weekend to wondering off somewhere far in the desert...... To find nothing but a little yellow butterfly......

what a nutcase. hopefully we'll be best friends by the end of the weekend! or not she's like 40.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Monday, April 21, 2008

ain't nothin but a heart ache ain't nothing but a mistake

Well Mondays fucking blow huh?

Here's a picture of Christian Lander, to hopefully bring some joy to this most lame of days. And look! It's a polaroid! Hooray for non-digital things!



I do not own a digital camera. disposables all the way.
coachella countdown: 4 days.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

happy holidays

the pope's on like every channel.

Friday, April 18, 2008

it's been a summer

OMG.

Moment of Blog: April 18 2008

Here we go, another insightful and enlightening passage from blogger extraordinaire, Bai Ling. Hold on to your hats kids...

"Well all the nice stores are for wealthy old lady, the size are way too huge, like Dolce & Gabbana the size starts from #4, so sad, I really have to eat much more of the pasta steak and cheese and lots of desert and bad food, I do anyway, I love desert, but maybe I have to eat from 5am on, god life is hard when you try to find a dress and look right, don't know why all the dresses are way bigger than me, sometimes I found the smallest dress still I am swimming in it, then my nipples suddenly see the opportunity to come out to see the sunlight and dance or look for the red light district, then I am the one gets into trouble the next day from the Internet or news papers, whom to blame but me, I looked at my nipples and want to punish them, but they are Innocent, its just their nature to be free and proud. Well sometimes I really have no place and no room to explain, I don't anymore, but just let it be. "

HER NIPPLES ARE INNOCENT.
God bless Bai Ling, what a great weekend kickoff.

I won't go home without you

So. Real World: Hollywood. Ummmmmmmm well we've officially gotten over even PRETENDING that this is a reality show. Ok, even if the people who have been on this, especially in recent seasons, are doing it to "get famous", which they probably are on some level, at least that's not like their actual life goal that they're pursuing outside of this. This season we have 7 strangers who are all actively pursuing a career in entertainment, and have all dreamed of moving to hollywood. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? We don't want to watch 7 hollywood wannabe douchebags live in a house, we want to watch SEVEN STRANGERS with DIFFERENT FUCKING ASPECTS OF THEIR LIVES. You know, someone who wants to be a politician. or an architect. or a teacher. or ANYTHING THAT DOESNT GET YOU ON E! NEWS. So stupid I'm so angry.

That being said some of these people are pretty likable. I'm torn on Sarah and Will, I LOVE SARAH'S HAIR, please tell me how to make mine do that. I like the blonde guy but the fact that I don't remember his name doesn't bode well for him. I am very anti-"angry drunk guy" but when Joey's being nice he's a doll and it looks like he works through some of his issues this season. Greg is, obviously, fucking stupid, which is what you get when you let people who go on mtv.com vote. I mean he's not even that attractive, right? Am I crazy here? How did this guy win? there is NOTHING appealing about him. I hope we like "see a softer side" or whatever but even if we do, it'll probably be like when Beth says something nice... where you're like ummmm ok psycho way to normal it up for a minute.

Oh also they're living in a production studio on a studio lot and they don't even have full walls (note Greg listening from the kitchen while they're all in the confessional). Real World: Hollywood is about as real as paparazzi pictures of the demon couple (who shall, now and forever on this site, remain nameless).

mo' money mo' problems

so this girl's "allegedly" boning Putin. heh. anyways, get ready to have your mind fucking blown...



christ. color me impressed.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

nobody walks in la

So Britney's going to be the new spokesperson for Ballys (as in total fitness). HOORAY! That's good on so many levels. I'm excited. As we all know from Legally Blonde, exercising releases endorphins and endorphins make you happy and happy people don't just kill their husbands, but even more importantly happy people aren't miserable and having mental breakdowns and endangering their relationship with their children and their public image. So... yay! I'm so excited for the commercials. SHE'LL LOOK SO PRETTY.



Loves.

HILLARY LIES. VOTE OBAMA.



Obama 08. and Hillary... how DARE you say that you want what's best for this nation and then lie and manipulate like you have been. Go to hell.

come on philly do your stuff.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I've stopped caring whether the douchebags are preggers

CHECK IT! The Wackness looks SO. DOPE.

Trailer!


holy hell that embed code was long...

Anyways... look how good it looks! The best friend from Juno is in it! Her name's Olivia, maybe. I'll check. Yep, Olivia Thirlby. I think she's adorable, and interesting and based on current reports, probably nicer than Ellen Page (which is a shame). Also she's making a shitload of movies right now... she's blowin' up! Sick. She's set to be in some movie called Jack and Diane (which... is there really not a movie called that yet? that seems unlikely) that seems... well... possibly made up? but if not kind of interesting. ANYWAYS, back to the Wackness... Of course Mary-Kate will kill in it, because she's awesome, plus characters with dreadlocks are cool, plus, she's awesome. Also, the tagline for the movie is "Sometimes it's right to do the wrong things" which... well, words to live by.

So, go see the Wackness, you won't be sorry. Or you will but fuck it go anyways.

when is degrassi coming back on?

Ohai, we're your new favorite band!



MGMT is better than drugs.

live fast and die young

WELL. The internet ruined Christian Lander picture day, and I for one am pretty peeved. But, no use crying over spilt vodka tonics...



Christian Lander loooooooves dumpling soup (maybe). How exciting!

Big week... Penn votes, Real World: Hollywood premieres (these two events are obviously comparable)... plus it's hot as balls outside, so that's great. I'm glad it's not Monday.

Monday, April 14, 2008

ummmm team daisy

SO. I'm a little heartbroken. Just a little bit... ranging to kind of a lot. But seriously? Amber? She's not bad, and yes it really did seem like her and Brett had a connection... but Daisy's so great! and hotter! and less annoyingly perky all the time! And, not old. Let's not forget "not old". Also I mean... everyone attacked her for being fake or for lying or whatever, but her story was pretty clear to me... I truly believe that she 100% genuinely loved/loves Brett... and I think she had her shit a lot more together than people on the show were giving her credit for. Just because someone has fake boobs and dresses a touch slutty doesn't mean they are brain dead... ESPECIALLY in LA. Bottom line, as much as I would love to hate the "Daisy character" on this show, I didn't... she was too awesome and lovable and I totally want to hang out with her and drink beer and get a little sloppy at some sort of sporting event and make fools of ourselves yelling stuff that isn't funny... NOT TO MENTION that he's been banging her since the beginning and isn't that kind of messed up? I'm just saying.

So... YOUR LOSS, Brett Michaels, you go have a stable life with Amber, fine, I don't begrudge you anything, but Daisy was the winning pick and I'm just. so. sad.

Here's the randomest video...



Sigh.



At least Brett is still totally hot.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

BLOG AS FUCK BITCHES

an insight, brought to you by Bai Ling, my favoritest blogger:

"I think when fish look at us is like when we look at the fish in the sea, they must be so amazed by how can we survive with out water in those strange dried place we call land, is like we amazed by how amazing the fish can survive with out the air on land, one can never understand another when you breath differently, when you mind set if off, maybe this is why and this is What makes people don't understand me and think I do odd things that not normal, but what is normal? Woulden't it is boring if we are all the same and normal ware the same sized left shoe?"

WARE THE SAME SIZED LEFT SHOE????
I love this woman. I saw her in Korea Town once. IT WAS AWESOME.

too legit to quit

ok... I'm sorry... I honestly feel like I might cry. or vomit. or a little of both, which would be reflective of my day so far. all due to this little doozy right here:

Ashlee Simpson. And Pete Wentz. Are engaged.
And possibly/probably pregnant.

Ok. I honestly was pretty into fallout boy for a while, and Pieces of Me is without question one of my top 10 songs of my 20s. However. This is the most douche-tastic couple in all of famedom... mostly of because how FUCKING LAME Ashlee is... and the thought of their Britney-mocking, no-talent-having, too-much-eyeliner-wearing not-funny-or-cool selves reproducing is just really appalling.

The end. Go throw up now.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Coachella just got worth it

well holy shit... Prince just got added to Coachella! headlining the second day, that's SO. SICK. Oh man... Jack Johnson just got owned.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

and we don't care about the young folks

Ok WHAT is going on with Lindsay's nails? I know you can't see them that well...



But they're very "the sample acrylics with flamingos and shit on them that nail places have out all the time but no one actually GETS unless they're geriatric and in Boca Raton." Here's a better picture...



Oh Lindsay... dear... no. I mean, it's weird and kitschy and I honestly see where you're going with it, but psychotic nail designs aren't even retro... they're something that is only cool to really little kids who aren't old enough to get fake nails and really old women who tan too much and smoke pall malls. Everyone keeps saying you look old (even though I totally don't think you do) so WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? You're going to become an old woman in huge shades talking in a scratchy voice about guys you banged before you know it. Oh, wait...

huh.

I think...

... that I just saw a commercial for an Indian tribe?

Let me put it out here once and for all.
I am opposed to all marketing and commercials that, with no further apparent purpose, advertise any of the following:

- ethnic groups
- religions
- cults that some people may refer to as religions
- racial groups
- lifestyles (ie homo/heterosexuality)

Please keep these things off my tv. They're not things you can advertise. They're part of your identity.

Also, it's fucking annoying.

Thanks.

Monday, April 7, 2008

hit me with your best shot

so this is an action/injustice-packed article...


I'm not even like... flat out anti-polygamy. I mean I see the issues, I suppose, but I'm pretty equal opportunity about how people run their own lives... if everyone involved is cool with it, well, then it's cool to me. However... when you start incorporating (barely) teenagers, rape, abuse, obvious mental manipulation and who knows what else... well, it's pretty depressing. SORRY TO BE SUCH A DOWNER. articles like this are what make people hate and/or fear religious groups. except scientology, which we hate because it's completely psychotic.

idk my bff jill?

So I guess Monday is Christian Lander picture day. HOORAAAAAAY!

Here's Christian Lander doing this thing that apparently he and his friends call "the birdcall" and that they seem to do with alarming frequency...



ooooh inside jokes... I want to be inside one of Christian Lander's jokes. I could have gone a LOT dirtier there so be thankful.

ADDED BONUS!

Here's a picture of Jamarcus Russell that Christian Lander posted on Facebook, noting the "cosby sweater" and chain:



WOW! NEATO! WHIZ! BANG!
Totally.

devil went down to georgia

If you don't already, please go read Bai Ling's blog. It will change your life.

in the links.

Friday, April 4, 2008

party all the tiiiiiiiime

oh god. maybe it's better if you're high or drunk for this...



lolz

this one's also hilarious but for a totally different reason

Thursday, April 3, 2008

canadians are the jews of the north

I coined a new saying in the comments of Stuff White People Like... I think it's really going to catch on.

um, it's the title, if that wasn't clear.

you'll always be my baby

OK SERIOUSLY



How many colors does she have this jacket in? I think she has more of this jacket than I have leggings.

ok also John McCain made a statement that I think he was kidding about but, pop culture-wise, may have been what Regina George would call social suicide. Unfortunately, since I have taken a vow of silence on the related parties (not John McCain), I can't discuss it. Do your own research, trust me, it's horrifying.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I loved the way she said l.a.

check this out...

www.topoftherocknyc.com

it's just like... a lookout-type place in New York, which is obviously very tourist-y, and there isn't anything actually very relevant about it (to me), but I really like how the website customizes for you.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

ayatollah's in iran, russia's in afghanistan

so ummm...



anybody got any stereotypes about Arab people?? ANYONE??
I get what she's going for, but putting that out to anonymous youtube commenters, arguably the world's cruelest race, may be... ill advised, at best.
I can't wait to see what happens!

side note, queen is hot, yeah? good job.

out of cape cod tonight

LOOK AT THIS CHILD:



And tell me it doesn't make you want to weep that she's pregnant. and wearing an engagement ring. oh jamie lynn... you're breaking my heart.

on that note, I was reading an old In Touch yesterday, because I was THAT bored, and a quote from one of JL Spears' friends was "she loves Care Bears, she played with them until a couple of years ago." AAAAAAHHH THEN NO BABIES!!!

It's sad that she feels the need to hole up during this whole thing... but at the same time, she SHOULD be kind of embarassed, it IS really stupid, she IS too young... and when she does go out, posts like this one get written. So, touche, Jamie Lynn.

in the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight

hahaha good job youtube... go click a featured video.

eta: oh man. Good job Google, too.

I don't even have *a* gun

CHECK IT OUT! Everything is Annoying is obsessed with Christian Lander too! The internet is so fun.

Monday, March 31, 2008

is your bed made? is your sweater on?



Literally one out of every 2 keywords that gets people here, as I've said before, is some combination of the following:

manny santos
thong
hot
cassie steele
boobs

So there's the video. That's the big thong scene, it was QUITE a big deal, plot developmentally, for people who really watch the show, but it's a far cry from soft core... and no, Manny has never actually showed her boobs. She "showed them" to Peter and he taped them, but it's just a show, which means there was definitely something covering her boobs, because they're not going to make a 16 yeah old reveal herself to a new castmate.... Just to save you the googling.

cheese and noodles all over the bathroom floor




why are lolcats so funny? the world may never know. or, they might know, and it might be "because they are."

paris falls down, world screeches to a halt

BIG NEWS! Paris Hilton fell down, in Prague, while she was running or something? Whatever.

ps the "big news!" was sarcastic this is stupid. I don't want to hear about it until she doesn't get back up.

happy monday

to kick off the week...

here's Christian Lander with a Star Wars mailbox!! HOLY COW!!!



Also, Dairy Queen now serves a Chocolate Covered Strawberry Waffle Cone Sundae. HOW GOOD DOES THAT SOUND? I love DQ, butterscoth dilly bars are the best.

Friday, March 28, 2008

blood for booze

so here's what my friend just said to me:

"I like that you can tell me that you picked a random blog writer to be totally inappropriately obsessed with, and that's something that seems reasonable based on your personality"

I guess that's a valid point.

around the world we don't stop

So wait, see???



That's fully a Members Only jacket. She's so awesome.
I stole the picture from The Superficial, I guess I'm supposed to say that.

2 prostitution rings 1 governor

SERIOUSLY SPITZY?

This hooker really has a lot less of the "...with a heart of gold" quality that A. Dupre has... because I'm STILL interested in her myspace, whereas I really hope that this girl is not even in my extended network.

On a side note, remember how gross 2 Girls 1 Cup was? That was only a few months ago, guys... I'm surprised I'm not STILL vomiting.

icanhasinternetzdrama?

So there's this girl, she's kind of famous or something, on the internet but also for real if you're in LA which I am so... ANYWAYS some people hate her I like her she's always been nice and she gave me cheap clothes but I guess... whatever. zomg internet drama. Regardless. She writes blogs, this post is funny, I love lolcats.

If you own any bank stocks I'd really suggest selling. take it or leave it.

kthanxbye

that's funny smart and great



That's all...

Thursday, March 27, 2008

smock smock smock smock smock

oh my god this is hilarious.

Hot Canadians: Christian Lander

Stop the presses, this just in! Christian Lander, writer of Stuff White People Like and noted posesser of a book deal, is from Toronto. Based on this fact, along with the fact that his blog is hilarious, he has unmanageable looking hair (which is endearing) and he seems just all around kind of weird and awesome, I've decided to be obsessed with him. Thus far, it's shaping up to be a good choice.

So here's what we know about Christian:
Christian Lander is from Toronto originally. He attended McGill University in Montreal for his undergrad (he studied english, like your major matters at all). I totally am looking into their grad school program (obvs, based on my love of Canada). He attended both Arizona and Indiana for grad school in communications, though it's somewhat unclear if he graduated/where he graduated from. I think maybe he still goes to Indiana? But he lives in LA. SO I GUESS NOT. He rides a bicycle in LA, where he lives with his wife, which is sort of a blow (almost kidding). The fact that he rides a bicycle a) ties him into so many of the things that he discusses on his blog, which is hilarious, I'm sure he wears north face while he drinks bottled water and talks about "going green" by riding his bike (in a not annoying way, of course), and b) means there's a decent chance he lives in my area, as that's where most of the bike crowd in LA seems to be (hippies).

Christian Lander gave this interview to Heeb Magazine (I kind of hope that's not the real name?) which is, first off, charming, and beyond that confirms that this blog has legit been around for all of 3 months. What the F, internet? Christian Lander does NOT have a Wikipedia page. Let's work to change that.

Christian Lander has under 300 friends on Facebook. However, one of these people is Alex Blagg, who used to do Blue States Lose on Gawker, and who I have to believe friended him based on his blog, unless Christian is secretly in with that whole Joel Stein/Mo Rocca/New York intellectual-hipster crowd that seems so interconnected, which I really hope is not the case. His profile is public if you're in LA, and so I totally invaded his privacy and looked at his pictures, and now I have them here for you. Suuuuch a stalker.

Here is Christian Lander looking all adorbs at some meeting or something!


Here is Christian Lander eating ramen noodles!


Here's Christian Lander looking at his iPhone while tailgaiting an Ohio State game!


There are more, and I know these aren't even ACTUALLY good pictures, but I think that makes him seem more intriguing, and this post more hilarious.

Christian Lander was recently hit by a car! And his wrist hurts! Probably because he was biking in Los Angeles. I'm just saying.

So there you have it. That's what we (I) know so far about the hot Canadian that is Christian Lander. I hope he does not hate me for stealing his pictures. Alternately, I may start a feature where I post a weekly picture of Christian Lander, for public enjoyment. Either way, he wins. Hoooraaaayyyy Christian!

cute outfits, and even cuter boys!

I just have to say I really like everything Britney is wearing here, boots to bag.



the new Elizabeth and James line is... well, god, I HATE to say this, but it's a little "meh". A little "you need to put more effort, not just more style, into this than into your wal-mart line, girls", if you know what I mean. But, it's all "okay", and the pictures are very well styled... I love the shoes that the models are wearing with almost every outfit. It's just not THAT original. The Row is rarely mind-blowing in it's originality either, but that's more focused on neutrals and clean lines and rich fabrics (like fur YAY FUR God I want a chinchilla coat...), while Elizabeth and James is a little more fun-fashiony... and, while I feel like I've been saying this about a LOT of fashion lines lately, and I guess maybe it's because not just any chick with media attention actually has the ability to start their own fashion line, regardless of whether they have the resources (though I don't think that applies here because I truly do respect the Olsens as fashion visionaries)... it's a little Wet Seal. I'M SO SORRY FOR SAYING THAT I REALLY LOVE YOU, MARY-KATE (you're alright too, Ash)... and that being said I really love the Hall Skirt and the Garbo Jacket (and the Dita Short! And I love them paired together... again, great styling for the website)... but really those items are the only ones that really are very original. The designs on the sequin items... well, it sort of looks like you just bought the pattern pre-made and made dresses out of it, and it either already had or you added sequins, but either way without the originality of the pattern it's basically just a long tank top. And some of the dresses are cute, but in kind of an "I wonder what Lauren Conrad is wearing today" sort of way. It really pains me to say these things to you. And I would, no doubt, spend my entire month's budget to own one of these dresses that I am now talking down, because of my love for all things Olsen... but I must be honest. I hurt because I love. Ummmmmm and if I could get hooked up with the fur jacket from the first season of the Row, that'd be dope. K thanx.


oh ps...
so Britney might be on Thirty Rock now. DOOOOOPE. Also, was Third Rock from the Sun really so big that we can now parody it's title for another, completely unrelated show? I know it's been a few years but that still seems weird.