booze and lies

2011-09-20T02:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Obama:

I love you. Please do something right. You are killing me here. This shit with Solyndra? It's terrible. And that is the most minor of your problems.

Obama, I obsessively love you. But I can't agree with all the compromises you are making. Be the fucking president. Decide that hating gays is wrong, and decide that excluding taxation for corporations is wrong, and SAY IT SAY IT LOUD. Be assertive. Do something. Please. You are THE PRESIDENT and you are obligated to do what must be done. PLEASE OBAMA I LOVE YOU.

M

Have you seen this turtle?

2011-04-23T18:37:00.000-07:00

SNL

2011-03-10T01:45:00.000-08:00

"I have no ugly friends, I dress like a methed out musketeer, and I have a mustache that whispers 'I'm a bad person'"

so is greek over now?

2011-03-10T01:03:00.001-08:00

Emmas blue outfit on Glee this week was amazing. I want to dress like Emma. I could never pull it off, I only do messy-dressy. it's the hair.

I'm working on a picture.

monday is sunday

2009-08-17T11:53:00.000-07:00

look. I am watching 'the fabulous life of the worlds most impossibly huge yachts ever' or something. this is a note to all you super rich people. look at the world. look at the country. share the wealth people. YOU ARE THE ONES WHO CAN FIX THIS. I am not suggesting socialism. I am not suggesting that you should be REQUIRED to share your (sometimes) hard earned wealth, or by any means that you shouldnt get to have nice stuff if you have the means. I am just saying that when you could throw 50 million at something and not even FEEL it, why not do so? help out with SOMETHING. THE WORLD IS FALLING APART. EMPLOY SOME PEOPLE. give to a scholarship fund, or to a university! ucla is laying people off left and right, and its going to affect the education. give to a low income medical insurer, or hospital. invest in a start up company. give to no on 8. give to save the music. just care about the world. because you are the ones who can change it. we can all try, but you just CAN HELP RIGHT NOW ITS EASY! lets be big picture.

full service

2009-07-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

OOOOH THE DRESS JESSICA WORE IS IN THE AD

It actually doesnt look THAT much better on this chick, so maybe its just an unflattering dress. it should be shorter?

Hey

2009-07-02T10:41:00.000-07:00

Okay lets be clear here. I am not calling Mischa Barton fat.

But this photo? Is not flattering.

you gotta do the cookin by the book

2009-07-01T00:21:00.000-07:00

YES PLEASE

k thnx bye

you know that love survives, so we can rock forever

2009-06-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) - Michael Jackson

a few days late, but lets take a moment. or, lets be real, a year or so. His youtube channel has also been updated with tons of songs that don't have videos (excluding the above, oddly enough).

the king is dead, long live the king

start with the man in the mirror

2009-06-29T12:09:00.001-07:00

OKAY SERIOUSLY. Is EVERYONE going to wear this dress? Jennifer Connelly busted it out first, showing how waaayayyyyyyyayayayay too skinny she has gotten since her days of pure, drugged out, ass-to-ass hotness in Requiem...

Then Sienna rocked the EXACT same one a few weeks later, wearing it, in my opinion, slightly better, but once it's been worn there's no merit (this was possibly actually Kate Hudson - I kid you not I have spent 40 minutes scouring the net and cannot find a pic of either, but I ASSURE you it is true).

and now this. Beyonce. Beyonce THINKING SHE NEEDS TO BROADEN HER SHOULDERS.

Look bitch. you are curvy as a motherfucker. This dress is TOO SHORT for you, and the shoulders make it look like your head is thethered to your knees and it's making your neck shrink into itself. Also, I hate you a lot and I heard your medley was god awful.

Admittedly, the color is great on this, and I love any outfit that involves a purple shoe, because how often does that happen... but this just looks rough. And just. so. done. THIS DRESS IS NOT EVEN CUTE. I see like, the POINT, but the peter pan hemline with the shoulders that look like a robot going to an 80's party... plus, long sleeves in the summer? ITS 90 DEGREES IN LA, BEYONCE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

uuuuugh.

yo go do this you will look really cool

2009-06-28T18:59:00.000-07:00

NEW PROJECT!! Ok ok so I have resisted becoming a twitter obsessive on this blog, but I am starting a twitter-based site With some other people. It's mad awesome, basically you just tweet (@) us whatever you are eating, and we post it on the site with a link to your twitter page. Great way to get followers, and also just seem really cool when you pig out on something interesting... check it out, and start tweeting us during your daily grub sessions! http://tweating.wordpress.com and on twitter @whatyoueat.

I will pick it up on here as well...

recession shmecession

2009-05-31T13:19:00.000-07:00

http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2009/05/okay_now_were_really_freaking.html

oh noooooo christian lacroix is folding??? they make THE BEST couture pieces. Of anyone, seriously. That dress MK wore to the Met Costume Ball was gorge... ugh I am sad. COME ON ECONOMY LETS PICK IT UP.

I can't get her off of my brain

2009-05-04T12:28:00.000-07:00

jesus christ check out team britney handle the shit out of this situation. I mean seriously that was seamless! what are they, trained for this specific scenario? the only dancers accepted were also cia ops? I know that the level of security around britney at all times must be just insane - jamie spears, I am sure, has got it on lock down that no person or thing gets within 10 feet of her without his blessing - but this is beyond what's conceivable. well played team britney.

(but also, sad because it makes you think about how regimented her life must be. just... robotic.)

OH THE CONCERT WAS AMAZING

waiting for my wish to come true

2009-04-23T14:57:00.001-07:00

I think it's funny that they added the feature to IM where you can keep your status as "away" while you are actively chatting. In original IM you couldn't do that, as soon as you sent a message it would go back to active. I like that they got the message that there's a common need to physically block the IMs of undesirables, and so they'd like the built in "wuss" function to help them avoid any confrontation, please. the internet makes you a liar.

danger. she smashed the homies.

2009-04-20T13:27:00.000-07:00

oh my god how much plastic surgery did farrah get?! she's a totally different person, I swear it's really crazy. she looks like a small town news lady.

Moment of Blog 4/16

2009-04-16T15:04:00.001-07:00

So, let's talk about Bai Ling's new blog format. Someone's really learning about the internet! Also, her updates have been amazing. However, all this is reduced to sheer irrelevance when you hear this next piece of news. Bai Ling is writing a book, to be entitled... Nipples: A Novel.

Yes.

Here's an interview she did recently, and read to the end because it gets nuts.

In that interview, she discusses the 8 spirits that live inside her mind, and the following is a blog excerpt that she describes as those spirits arguing:

I mean No, The eye! No 2 eyes baby, 2! No No baby just one eye, no no no, I mean 2 eyes are the beautiful windows of our human soul, No 1 eye, did I just said 1 eye or 2 eyes? But what I really mean is the eyes, No no are the eyes, I mean the big 2 eye crossed with each other, from each other, as 2 people a man and a woman making love, love, love more baby......No why am I talking about love, did you ask me something about Love? Yes love baby, Love in the first sight......is it? How could that be? Love is blind like a blind man is about to hit the also blind wall, yes, just go for it baby, no pain no gain, yes go for it baby, hit hard, hard as if you just eat a huge steak, yes I am hungry for some , some......what am I hungry for? I forgot, did you just knocked my empty head with your blue eyes, yes, thats it, the eyes are the soul mate are found by your question, what/ I forgot my steps, how many have taken already, you mean the medison? What kind? eyes is so pure can not have sand, not even just one little tiny drop....." " Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! baby glue! " "Whats wrong with your brain?!" "Stop! Can't sleep!" "We are in a serious interview don't jump around!" " I did not jump around, what are you talking about?" " Brian, do you have a brain?" " Hi what is brain? Do we really need one? For what? " " You are crazy, I was just dreaming of my hot ice cream and your loud voice wake me up like a storm!" " What the F....night mear problem all of you idant!' " " You shot up earth people!" " Earth people? You think you know better? go back to your moon to dream find your brain then come back and then we can have a intelligent convertible, " " What?" " No I mean conversation!" " don't wast my time I am in the hurry to find my memory to pee...." " What the F..!!!!!!!!" " Its in the middle of the night coffee time talk show on the air again my sleepless wondering soulmate baby blue cowboy shoes, just 1.......

How are you?

jesus christ.

brother for sale

2009-04-16T12:58:00.000-07:00

And your new background is...

Lizzie Olsen, everybody.
Check this shit out.

http://www.osoblog.tv/2009/03/introducing_mary_kate_and_ashl.html

She's treated like royalty. This is what's hard to explain about the Olsens, and I've been asked; they're* always going to be among the "most famous" of the moment, regardless of their active participation in the public eye at that time. Because their fame has evolved; they're like the us version of royalty, in terms of how their celebrity is handled (not in the sense that we think they should have a voice in politics or public issues... and for that matter, they clearly don't think so either). So now Lizzie is royalty too. She gets to be famous, "just because".

and... ok I am serious. watch this video.

http://www.olsen-twins-news.com/playflv.php?file=lizzie-olsen-queen.flv&title=Elizabeth%20%22Lizzi%22%20Olsen%20is%20the%20Queen%20in%20Carlotta%27s%20New%20Music%20Video

so now everyone can love her and she'll become like the new kennedy and probably solve world hunger with her handbags or something and then marry a prince in the south of france (I bet ashley has already done that).

*not sure what angle I was going to take, I took a full 10 seconds deciding whether to write "their" or "they're".

update! http://www.elleuk.com/starstyle/news/(article)/Meet-Elizabeth-Olsen-our-new-fashion-crush/(gid)/321438http://www.elleuk.com/starstyle/news/(article)/Meet-Elizabeth-Olsen-our-new-fashion-crush/(gid)/321438 everyone thinks so.

you're so two thousand and late

2009-04-13T19:49:00.001-07:00

the problem with buying high-end designer stuff is you're a lot more likely to see some celebrity you hate wearing the item you own, thus destroying it's beauty for you. Could you really be gaga over your new marchesa dress if you saw paris hilton parading it all over town? the magic is gone at that point.

you wouldn't like him when he's angry

2009-03-25T15:35:00.000-07:00

Rashida Jones in I Love You, Man is my new fashion icon. So cute. So much yellow, which I totally can't pull off, but she looks great in. So many cardigans! She's really brought me a whole new perspective on pairing yellow and brown. Revolutionary.

this is what I did today

2009-03-03T17:42:00.000-08:00

this pink dolphin is the coolest thing ever. it's like lisa franks dreams are becoming a whimsical, bubble-gum reality. I want a pet tiger cub.

why do you always wear so much purple?

2009-02-23T17:09:00.000-08:00

I just found this from Christian Lacroix, and I really just need the perfect person to wear this to something and totally pull it off:

Maybe Leighton Meester? With some major platform gold heels. Yeah, perfect.

eta: I was thinking about this after posting, and am bothered that I still support my nomination of Leighton to wear this, despite the fact that THIS much dress would really be flattering on someone with a little more length... why do I not have affection for any tall girls? I feel like I should want to put this on a Diane Kruger or a Keira Knightly... but they both just look so dead-eyed all the time, where Leighton or perhaps Vanessa Hudgens (although she shouldn't be getting given couture quite yet) or maybe... oooh... maybe an Ashley Olsen could really just kill this. Tiny girls with a zen quality about them. That's my jam, I guess.

you wanna be on top?

2009-02-23T16:53:00.000-08:00

So, following my previous day-1 post, fashion week really stepped up. And above all, let me just say this: Marc Jacobs, I love you. I want to go through that whole collection, one outfit a day, and then start over. I want those floral tights in every color. I want to shake your hand for making a band dress I like even BETTER than an herve leger. I want to die and giggle at the same time over your color palette. LOVE.

Thanks for stepping it up, fashion week

I love Taraji P. Henson

2009-02-23T12:51:00.000-08:00

I love time science. Read this article. It's da coolest.

In case you're thinking to yourself, "no, I'm not going to go read that, science is boring and/or I won't understand it", here's a preview:

"As predicted by quantum mechanics, and as verified by countless laboratory experiments, space-time becomes turbulent at very tiny scales, as "virtual particles" — electrons and positrons, protons and anti-protons, for instance — pop in and out of existence for fleeting moments, faster than the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle allows them to be individually seen. This process should extend all the way down to tiny black holes 10–33 centimeter wide popping in and out of existence in just 10–44 second. In other words, at such a fine scale, space-time itself should become foamy and indeterminate.

But does this happen, really?

According to some theories that attempt to unify quantum mechanics with general relativity, very-short-wavelength gamma rays will begin to "feel" the fine-scale space-time turbulence, which would act to retard their velocity. In other words, if these theories accurately describe nature, high-energy gamma rays would travel slightly slower than the speed of light. You can think of the space-time foam as presenting a longer pathway to a small particle than to a larger one that "sees" space as being smooth and flat."

SPACE FOAM. It's like magic schoolbus meets stephen hawking, with a dash of star wars (but as a g-rated arcade game). So cool. I will find time travel, I'm so confident.

isn't the world a lovely place

2009-02-23T12:02:00.001-08:00

My Little He-Man.

Yes.

the rest here: http://www.thetoyzone.com/25-inspiring-my-little-pony-mods/?woah

2009-02-19T16:11:00.000-08:00

Honestly, it will end Rihanna if she stays with Chris Brown, that no good fucking loser. Her whole image is based around her strength, and only an insecure, desperate, and of course totally retarded person would go back after that. Don't do it ri ri. You can stand under my umbrella ella ella.

BOOOO CHRIS BROWN

2009-02-15T16:37:00.000-08:00

i just realized I have no idea whether or not jamie-lynn is currently pregnant. This must be remedied.

never thought I'd be on a boat

2009-02-15T15:37:00.000-08:00

ok so yahoo is being really lame, and my internet's too slow for me to go slogging all over the internet looking for pictures, because, what am I your slave or something? but it's fashion week (on a budget!) in ny and the shows are... well, I'm going to say it, they're boring. for the most part, just uninspired and they make me tired and now I'm rhyming so I'll move on.

First, some positives. I'm kind of into Monique Lhullier's dresses, I'd def take one for my mid-20s prom that is obviously happening... there are some pieces from Rag & Bone that I'm pretty into, the Vena Cava detail is fantastic, I think Charlotte Ronson is starting to come into her own in a big way (although I hate that brown plaid), and some of the nicole miller stuff is nice in a simple way. I really appreciate the surrealist approach taken by Tse, which made their show seem like some anesthesia-induced dream. Kudos to the excellent show put on by abaete, not too crazy but very put-together and engaging. And of course, it was Barbi FTW. As usual.

Sadly, as we look at fashion week overall? Not so good. Alexander Wang, who I normally love? Boring. Why is everything black and white and grey and DEPRESSING? do we have to dress like an interpretation of our economy? also, I'm trying to like it, and I could be convinced that the pieces would be very pretty individually, but with only a couple exceptions the models in Yigal Azrouel's show looked like straight up hot messes. I'm way into messy-hot fashion, despite being too small and too bad at doing my hair to pull it off very effectively, but da-yum, these clothes are going in TOO MANY DIRECTIONS. Jason Wu managed to be boring, even despite the great use of color and patterns... I don't even know how it happened, there are all the components of something I should love, but it all just looks really uninspired and flat. The showing by Reem Acra was incredibly theatrical, and the gowns look beautiful, but on closer inspection they are sort of predictable and cheap looking, like you got them at a mall. which is not good.

I know times are tough, kids, but you are ARTISTS, this is FASHION, and it is SUPPOSED TO BRING ME SOME JOY. try harder, stop making designer t-shirts and belting them we already know how to do that, and for the love of god WORK IN SOME COLOR. where the F is betsey johnson when you need her.

So what have we learned? You can do an entire show of boring black dresses, EVERY bitch on the planet is ripping off herve leger, primary colors (and especially bright blue) are the new jam so stock up, and people won't put on a show if no one is going to come. I hope some better shows come along, I hope some of the charlotte ronson stuff is affordable, I hope the olsens go to some shows, I hope I get nationally infamous for blowing a politician so that I can get invited to fashion week next year like aa dupre, I hope amanda bynes stops trying to design things... thank god for obama, because I can't do all this hoping alone.

I'm here for the love of ray j

2009-02-15T15:29:00.000-08:00

So something about Cocktail on for the love of ray j (aka the most hilarious show ever) just really makes me want to hang out with her. even though I'd probably hate her, because she's like, super major girly and I generally am not the biggest maker of friends with that type (and, more to the point, she's on a dating reality show, but I can't judge that as I would definitely go on a show to win a date with christian lander or chad the alltell guy). but she's VERY pretty and I like that she's self-aware. like, when she won the date she was all "well there are two other girls so I know I have to look SUPER hot". Which is awesome. Also it doesn't bug me that she calls ray j "baby" all the time, and she did have some cool boots, and also didn't get shaken when ray j thought she said boobs, which was the best moment on the show.

honestly for realz, watch this show, it's amazing. I'd say it rivals brett michaels rock of love 3 tour bus, the best show in the world with the longest name since the pussycat dolls presented that show with their name in the title like 4 times.

millionaire matchmaker

2009-02-04T11:48:00.000-08:00

Lookbook is my new television.

This is a great outfit.

in the center of the ring

2009-02-04T11:39:00.000-08:00

I found this on breatheheavy, it is just amazing.

when is a new rock of love bus on? I'm addicted to brett michaels.

what is a disco stick

2009-01-31T19:47:00.000-08:00

So luke's like, obviously going to win bromance, right?

our country tis of thee

2009-01-19T12:46:00.000-08:00

Obama Presidency Countdowngreat free widgetsWidgetbox

I could just weep. It's the most amazing day of our lives.

you know you love me, xoxo

2009-01-13T19:02:00.000-08:00

FUCKING CHECK THIS OUT

I know everyone except me hates little J, but this is probably the best thing ever. She's a superhero!

it's the world where you live

2009-01-09T19:15:00.001-08:00

This is pretty good (click the link blogger can't format a picture that wide). Not too nuts, but good execution.

I dress like the 70s, I live like the 90s

2009-01-09T14:05:00.000-08:00

So, I can NOT stop looking at this site, lookbook. Essentially, people send in artsy pictures of themselves in cool outfits. I guess you vote and stuff, so that's the motivation for sending in your pictures, but I really just can't stop looking at it. After, like, an hour of perusing yesterday, here are some of my faves:

because everyone loves sweaters, and those shoes are cute

because I love a red shoe

because she's a 16 year old from Finland and it's just crazy enough to be awesome

because she looks like a cupcake

just because it's a cool picture, and the girl is seriously skinny

because she just looks really cute in that outfit, and I want to go shopping with her

because I would wear this even though it looked terrible on me, which it would

because I want to wear this every day, and she probably does.

because she's soooo skinny, and her description is "19 year old prostitute from Texas"

because she's wearing the mary-kate rip off shoes from forever 21, and I really think wide leg jeans are about to be back in a big way

Go check it out, you won't be sorry.

In other fashion news, here's my must-haves for Spring 09:
Wide-leg jeans
FLORALS FLORALS FLORALS
gauzy tops (esp. high necked with a bow)
ruffles
statement hats (my personal preference currently is a Charlie Chaplin hat, which makes me look a little like Annie Hall... but that's a look I can live with. My other fave is the wide brimmed hats that look like you'd wear them to a polo match. If, you know, people went to polo matches.)
pink, purple, cream combos
bright pink, orange, teal combos
tweed/camel (especially good to balance the gauzy florals, in terms of texture)
pleated knee length skirts
platforms stripper heels (esp. great with the wide leg jeans)

I love clothes, I want to shop... it's because the weather's getting good again. Changing seasons makes clothes hounds salivate in anticipation.

I really like The City

2009-01-09T11:41:00.001-08:00

Christian Lander Picture Day!!!

Here is Christian Lander drinking a large beer, apparently in some sort of Asian fast food joint (that serves beer - awesome), and less apparently but maybe sitting next to a poster for some sort of Asian Harold and Kumar variant (odd, as both characters are Asian themselves, no?).

He's so great!

Happy Friday, don't get hit by any cars.

and fire away

2009-01-08T17:09:00.001-08:00

even the world's best stander got there by spending some time on their knees.

you'll be calling but I wont' be at the phone

2009-01-08T16:27:00.000-08:00

I don't think I've posted that before, it's seriously hilarious.

So there's some amazing music right now. Lykke Li is killing it - killing. it. I can't stop listening to her album Youth Novels, my favorite tracks are complaint dept. and little bit, and obviously I'm good I'm gone, her single, is amazing. Also rocking my life is Ezra Furman and the Harpoons, who I can't get enough of. Take Off My Sunglasses is what I want to listen to all the time. In fact, I will play it for you now, and then probably just loop through it for the rest of the day while I search in vain for a job that doesn't make me want to die.

Take Off Your Sunglasses - Ezra Furman And The Harpoons

on that note, who knows someone who has a job they like? that you don't need "connections" to get, necessarily, or need to be able to do an unpaid internship for in order to break in, because this chick needs some cash money in a big way. I had to debate myself for 15 minutes over a $23 pair of boots. The boots won, obviously (fashion always does) but this recession shit is getting on my nerves. Plus, recession or no, some bookstore or something really give me a job already, christ. (note to self: you must apply for these jobs before getting them).

Oh well. I still live across from a subway, and I watched the entire season of freaks and geeks over the past 4 days, so I really have little to complain about. It could always be worse. You could always be working in a sewer, or cleaning toilets, or trapped in a subway car with scarlett johanssen while she talks about how fucking cool she is, or (gulp) at a creed concert.

It's nice to reflect on the blessings life has given you.

Oh also Ladyhawke is awesome, too, as well.

Paris Is Burning - Ladyhawke

dig it.

baby Tripp! hick hick hick.

2008-12-30T20:28:00.000-08:00

FUCK YOU PENGUIN IS THE FUNNIEST SITE EVER MADE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITNEY!

2008-12-02T12:59:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my very very favorite!

I love your new album. I cried during your MTV special. I hope you are happier soon. Please know that I, and the world, love you.

Plus, look how effing hot you look. God. Damn.

mmmmmm papi!

the boys are back

2008-11-30T16:52:00.000-08:00

love.

because of: those teeth, the split jumps, the fact that you can leave him a phone message on his myspace and he might call you back... but really, what reason do I need beyond the following:

zefron! bandanas! BEST SCENE OF ANY MOVIE EVER.
I really love hsm.

Corbin Bleu ftw.

bowling blowing bowling blowing

2008-11-30T15:56:00.000-08:00

this is such an invasion of privacy, but these girls are so effing cute I don't care. SLIDESHOWS! by crazy youtube lovin' fans! WHOOOOO!

Shenae baby

Cassie Steele's a badass

Miley, you little slut, I love you

white people like christian lander

2008-11-30T15:44:00.000-08:00

Christian Lander did a new video thingy!

fucking. love. him.

it's a little known fact that all white children are gifted. 100%! that's a pretty good figure.

I, too, am a PC. MARRY ME.

The tron guy did one of these too, pretty hysterical shit

venting

2008-11-30T14:42:00.000-08:00

So, let me say, this is mostly written so that I can bitch about stuff that's annoying, but I thought I should try to counter balance how bitter that could seem with the opposite... however, it's a lot harder to rant about things you like, so the negative section is bigger. Take it as you will.

eta: really, the only thing that makes me THAT mad is apparently ed hardy. Maybe I'll do another post where I discuss this more eloquently.

Things that I like a lot
(note: I in no way claim that these things are very original)

- yelling
- typing like you're yelling when something is important
- lolcats
- facebook
- rosebud salve
- mgmt, ezra furman, lykke li, eagles of death metal, ladytron, metric
- boots
- barack obama and the entire obama clan
- pickup trucks that are white
- jewelery that even I, the wearer, would have to classify as "slightly obnoxious"
- britney spears, her new album, her impending interview on mtv, her further impending tour... and really just everything about her. Love this bitch.
- lindsay's hair lately
- mixing metaphors
- guacamole
- the missbehave magazine blog
- mary kate maybe being pregnant
- the olsen's coffee table book
- everyone finally hating jessica simpson
- american apparel, fuck off, it's true
- pot

Things that I accept, albeit begrudgingly

- hilary is secretary of state
- coldplay is an ok band. Addendum: "Yellow" is still the worst song in the world.

Things that make me physically angry to think about

- anything and everything designed by christian audigier. If you wear Ed Hardy, you fucking lose. It's hideous, it was really cool in 2003 but now it's just fucking terrible. It's gone the way of trucker hats, just stop wearing it, you look like a douchebag. Tigers? Vines? Hearts with daggers in them? You're not poetic. If you want a shirt with animals on it, wear this one, I swear to GOD you look cooler than you do in Ed Hardy.

YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO GET LAID IN THIS THAN IN ED HARDY.
I'm serious. Stop wearing it. It's heinous, not fashionable, and you look like an asshole. SO ANGRY.
- the above includes his daughter crystal
- mood (the club)... this is like, a microcosm of what's wrong with LA.
- yes on 8, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM CALIFORNIA god dammit. Separate but equal IS NOT EQUAL. HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING.
- jessica simpson, ashlee simpson, pete wentz, john mayer - the quadrangle of douchiness
- Kanye. SHUT. UP. And why did you stop rapping you're not a singer uuuunnnngh
- urban outfitters selling everything I bought at thrift stores for a dollar last year, but for like $80 and to every style impaired high school senior IN THE WORLD.
- Twilight. I don't get it and I don't care. Angel's hotter than this edward dude, the chick in this movie looks super stoned and needs to get some sun, girls are asking the actor to BITE THEM because kids are so crazy now... it's like buffy, but much, much lamer and with way more annoying fans.

by the book

2008-11-28T18:11:00.001-08:00

maybe this is old news, but it's so weird.

I don't really ddr, but this is still funny. is rock band the new ddr? america's ddr, maybe?

harder? better? faster?

2008-11-28T18:06:00.000-08:00

neato, right?

Interactive Video Object Manipulation from Dan Goldman on Vimeo.

I think it's cool.

on another note, facebook's embedded ads are freakily relevant, it's like they read my emails.

let's make out

2008-11-24T19:06:00.000-08:00

BRITNEY IS GOD. peep the album kids: http://www.britney.com/blog/full-circus-album-preview... I'm obsessed with Mmm Papi in sort of a sick way, but Kill The Lights and Circus are life changing. LOVE YOU BRITNEEEEYYYYY!

You're in...
I think I'm ready for my close up..
Yeah

You don't like me, I don't like you, It don't matter (Who?)
Only difference, You still listen, I don't have to (Who?)
In one ear and, Out the other, I don't need you (Who?)
Your words don't stick, I ain't perfect, but you ain't either (Who?)

If your feeling groggily (Oh)
I ain't even lose no sleep (Oh)
Theres more to me than what you see (Oh)
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry..

Mr. Photographer
I think I'm ready for my close-up tonight
Make sure you catch me from my good side pick one
These other (HA) just wanna be me
Is that money in your pocket?
Or you happy to see me?

Kill the Lights!
Take 'em out, turn 'em off, break 'em down)
Kill the Lights!
Don't be scared, make a move, see me now?)
Kill the Lights!
I've seen you, watching me, watching you)
Kill the Lights!
You can't handle the truth
What happened to you?

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action

All the flashin', tryin' to cash-in
Hurts my eyes
All the poses, out of focus
I despise

Eff me over, your exposure
Not the best
You want me bad, I want you out
Release this stress.

Mr. Photographer
I think I'm ready for my close-up tonight
Make sure you catch me from my good side pick one
These other just wanna be me
Is that money in your pocket?
Or you happy to see me?

Kill the Lights!
(Take 'em out, turn 'em off, break 'em down)
Kill the Lights!
(Don't be scared, make a move, see me now?)
Kill the Lights!
(I've seen you, watching me, watching you)
Kill the Lights!
You can't handle the truth
What happened to you?

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action

You're the star now, welcome to the big league
They all want a pic, they all wanna see, see, see
What you're made of... what you're gonna do
Is life gonna get the best of you?

Kill the Lights!
(Take 'em out, turn 'em off, break 'em down)
Kill the Lights!
(Don't be scared, make a move, see me now?)
Kill the Lights!
(I've seen you, watching me, watching you)
Kill the Lights!
You can't handle the truth
What happened to you?

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action

I KILL
The Lights Pure
The Lights Satis
The Lights Faction
I KILL
The Lights Lights
The Lights Camera
The Lights Action

Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh
Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh
Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh
Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh

[Laughter]

hara-jew-coup

2008-11-20T15:36:00.000-08:00

Q-Pot might be the greatest jewelry site ever.

I can't get pictures to work but these melty things are my fave so far... holler japan, way to go

eta: OH MY GOD this is cute.

the mk to my a

2008-11-20T13:07:00.000-08:00

well, I'm buying these.

they're like the ones MK wore with that cool onesie thingie... here!

I mean in black... soooo stripper, SO CHEAP, so classy. God, I better go today before they run out.

IS SHE SMOKING UP OUTSIDE?

2008-11-20T13:04:00.000-08:00

soooo I know we already voted and whatnot (no on 8, still goin' strong, btw), but thingsarefine.org is a grrrreat site. tons of posters like the banner above, I die.

I stole that from Rachel Zoe because I LOVE HER. and fur. I love fur.

President Barack Obama

2008-11-06T12:35:00.001-08:00

Just... hell fucking yeah.

inspiration!

2008-10-30T11:27:00.000-07:00

new elizabeth and james line's up... cuuuuuute check it. I want pretty much all of it.

ew hilary duff

2008-10-30T11:21:00.000-07:00

I love personal jesus. but this... this is painful.

Hilary Duff - Reach Out - Official Music Video Premiere

acting? no. singing well? no. being interesting? no.
I actually pulled for H Duff a little, but this is so bad it's hard to watch. I don't recommend it, actually. Not sure why I put it there.

past is prologue

2008-10-03T14:53:00.000-07:00

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEAAAAAAASE AMERICA. VOTE FOR OBAMA.

Sarah Palin is not "folksy", she is an idiot. Sarah Palin's antics are not "cute" or "adorable", they are terrifying. This woman could be the president. THE PRESIDENT. And she can't even speak in complete sentences. She can't give ONE specific case of how McCain's policies differ from George Bush's. She claims to read "all of" the news publications, and can't think of ONE FUCKING SINGLE NAME when asked for specifics. She got her passport in 2007... one year ago. She claims to be "joe six-pack" but SHE IS WORTH $1.2 MILLION. See for yourself here. She answered the questions regarding her role as VP in a manner so clearly reminiscent of Dick Cheney (claiming that the definition in the constitution was "flexible" and she'd like to take on a more prominent role), which should terrify everyone in a way that little else can.

I'm sick of this. I abhor this woman. Take your trashy ass back to fucking Alaska. AND DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE EVER TALK ABOUT JOE BIDEN'S DEAD WIFE. YOU ASSHOLE.

unnnnngh the rage. I might pass out.
Vote Obama. It's do or die time.

Jack Cafferty FTW

2008-10-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

JUST FUCKING KILL ME.
Still love ya' Bris Bris, you little hooker you

oh have I not mentioned this on here? I've decided to be obsessed with Bristol Palin. I have her cell phone number! what a lil' babymaker.

YOU WANNA BE ON TOP?

2008-10-01T20:16:00.000-07:00

Could Clark possibly be more annoying and not attractive and lame in general? COULD SHE PLEASE JUST TRY TO SEE IF IT'S POSSIBLE? GOD. She sucks. Get an upper lip.

Additionally, if Marjorie doesn't get some fucking self esteem I'm going to dive into the tv and make her cry. WITH MY WORDS.

oh Elina really bugs me too. And McKey. Where did these girls COME from?

Samantha, Analeigh or Lauren Brie FTW.
ok or maybe Sheena.

WHERE'D THIS GUY GO???

2008-10-01T03:43:00.000-07:00

Hey kids! So. This was going to be a Hot Canadian, because his dad is Canadian (and Canadian never lets go. Like Jack.), but he was, unfortunately, born in Los Angeles. However, he remains amazing. He is Sasha Jenson. You may know him as Don, the lovable football player who only thinks about getting laid and who wears overalls, in Dazed and Confused. If you don't know him from that, you probably don't know him. THAT IS IRRELEVANT. He's great. And PRACTICALLY CANADIAN!!!! Here's a picture to jog your memory:

Yeah, that's the worst picture ever, but YOU try finding a picture of him. The last thing he did was in fucking 93, way pre-internet. It's impossible. So here's him, in Dazed and Confused, with Matthew McConaughey (or however you spell that). I should be commended just for finding a picture of Matty with his shirt on.

MOVING ON.

Far more importantly than this hippy nonsense (to me and anyone who loves tv/movies that should matter but don't), he was one of the popular kids who got vampired in the Buffy movie that pre-empted that (MUCH LOVED) series. It starred (in case you don't remember due to a massive head trauma or being lame) Kristy Swanson and Luke Perry. CAN YOU IMAGINE ANYTHING BETTER??? Anyways, he totes tried to kill her at prom, and he got his heart stabbed. In a hot way. He's a part of two movies that do, or should, define my generation, and I'm pretty upset (at this point tonight while sort of fucked up and watching dazed and confused on HBO) that he didn't achieve more success. HOW MUCH SHOULD HE BE ON SOME LAW AND ORDER REDUX? He'd be a great truancy cop.

anyways...

So he hasn't been in anything since 2003, and honestly, he hasn't been in anything we've heard of since Dazed and Confused. But let's be honest. He was hot in those overalls, and that's hard to do. He had great hair, and I really think that had he been given a role as the hilarious neighbor in... say... a sitcom starring kirk cameron as the older brother of Devon Sawa (AND WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT HOT ASS KID GO??) or something, he could have been major. Or, as my friend just suggested, as Eric on Boy Meets World, in an alternate universe where the guy who actually played Eric never existed. I'M JUST SAYING.

So. Sasha Jenson. Underappreciated, totally hot... and TOTALLY (almost) Canadian. I demand a movie.

Emmy Commentary!!!

2008-09-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

I missed the beginning? So I am pretending this is part 2 of this post.

Hmmm... I wish the laugh-in revamp had gotten a better reception. Lily Tomlin is really a classic figure in comedy, and that show really was revolutionary... I don't remember it well enough to tell if the characters were making mistakes in this little skit, or if they're just kind of old now. I hope it's the latter.

John Stewart is so classy... they won best variety and he waited in the aisle for the entire crew to pass and gave each one a hug before they went up. The man is just great.

LC designed the Emmy models' dress? weird? Also, I now have to hate her, because she got to present with Angel. NO. FAIR. I LOVE ANGEL.

... OH GOD and she got to present to TINA FEY!! God this girl is so lucky it makes me just want to diiiiieeeeee (still love her though - and girl looks HOT, can't argue with that). Tina Fey also looks just gorgeous. LETS FIND PICTURES!

Her boobs looks freaking fantastic.

WORK the curves, Tina! Awesome. She looks awesome.

So there is some HARDCORE avoidance of political opinions on this show... I heard that it was essentially "banned" by NBC which... well, some see the constant flow of actor opinions as having been harmful to Obama in this campaign. And that could be true, I don't know - people are swayed by weird stuff, and pay no attention to some stuff they really should (like, say, facts). Regardless, however, I feel that if these people feel strongly enough, and manage to win an emmy, and have that 30 seconds on live television to get some message out to the world... well then they should be able to say whatever they damn well please. IF THE REPUBLICANS DONT WANT TO GET HATED ON BY ACTORS MAYBE THEY SHOULD BE MORE APPEALING AS A PARTY.

There's an emmy for "reality competition program". I just threw up a little.

Recount just won. HOW CAN THEY DENY THE POLITICALNESS OF THIS? Blah.

There really aren't a ton of people I like getting attention... I mean, the standards are Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, John Stewart and Stephen Colbert... who are dominating the screen, no doubt... but I want a tv drama star. So I guess that means Lost... jesus what have I been watching for the past year? OOOH! I want NPH to win. Did that award already happen? Was he nominated? How I Met Your Mother FTW!
... ok I looked it up. He WAS nominated but Piven got it. Ok. Acceptable. I would also have accepted: Rainn Wilson.

Don Rickles is great. GREAAAT. Kathy Griffith is shaking laughing.

I really, really love Neil Patrick Harris. And! he presented Don Rickles with his Emmy! that's great all around.

WHOA Cynthia Nixon looks skiiiinnnyyyyyyyy. But, her hair looks AWESOME.

Ok. I'm bored. Let's assume Lost and 30 Rock win, even though they won't. And now that that's taken care of, I'm off to get beer. WISH ME LUCK!

hummus sounds good...

2008-09-21T19:17:00.000-07:00

Follow the word of the pita. Obamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

zebediah

2008-09-18T03:04:00.001-07:00

I don't understand "saving for the rainy day" its like, live now! Live like its your last day every day." Rachel Zoe

everything about her show makes me like her immensely, but I feel like she's incredibly unlikable at the same time. I'M SO CONFLICTED.

I think a large part of my growing-by-the-moment affection is based on a) how teeny tiny she is, b) her consistent wearing of fur and c) the fact that she was married to her husband well before any of the mainstream had ever heard of her.

I guess my only conflict, really, is coming from how demonized she was (though it sounds like for good reason) over the slew of anorexic clients a couple years ago. But really? Even if she DID give these girls horse tranquilizers or whatevs, it's not like Nicole Richie and L. Lo were pillars of stability and health. And, let's be honest, regardless of whether they were "too skinny", while she was their stylist those girls looked fab at everything. And in Hollywood, you can't argue with a best dressed list.

Maybe my conflict with her is tied in with my conflict of loving the super skinny look but disliking how unhealthy it is? I want to look like Kate Moss, and I don't begrudge Lilo or anyone else that same desire. However, I also do not begrudge them a sandwich or 2, and would rather not have to worry that my beloved starlets are going to crack a rib if they have to laugh in a movie (a worry which is torturing me in reference to my new love, Silver, who looks like she just might crack in half - but whose character (and yes I know Silver is the character but go with it), luckily, is not a big laugher, due to the fact that she's supremely fucked up and guarded. SAFE FOR NOW, until she gets farther into this just begun evolution, at the end of which we have to assume she'll be "likable", meaning unlikable to us, the viewers. MUCH LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS SHOW, with the returning cast, Jessica Walter, and Mr. Matthews obviously excepted. OOOOOH MY GOD BY THE WAY!!! DYLAN!!! HOOORAY!!! GOD I want the love triangle so bad. So, so bad. WOW quite a tangent here, yeah?).

So, therein lies the conundrum. I hope you follow.

kenley is insufferable

2008-09-17T00:37:00.001-07:00

Rihanna and ti sampling numa numa might be the most hilarious thing ever...

and also one of the best examples of how the internet is influencing... well, everything. Here's the throwback in case you've been, like, dead or something for the last 4 years.

mai la HAHA!

I kind of love Silver

2008-09-09T22:48:00.000-07:00

OH MY GOD WHO IS KELLY'S BABY'S FATHER???!!!? IS IT DYLAN BECAUSE IF LUKE PERRY MAKES AN APPEARANCE I WILL JUST ACTUALLY DIE. AAAAAAHHHHHH

eta: Naomi's dad is cheating on her mom with a woman named GAIL?? lame. Have her name be Natalie or Lucinda or some shit. Please.

also... oooh! Kelly's mom's back!!

OH GOD EDITING AGAIN WHAT THE HELL IS LORI LAUGHLIN WEARING?? that dress shouldn't exist.

just a creative homeless guy

2008-09-09T21:48:00.000-07:00

GUESS WHO'S JEWISH!!!!!

Jews and Canadians are SO. GREAT.

stride commercials bug me

2008-09-09T21:39:00.000-07:00

look at this! it's from comic con (or however the hell they choose to spell that). It's Christian Lander! He's so cute and cuddly and canadian and c-awesome. "cleavage - both positive and negative". ha.

aawwwww

I love this

2008-09-05T01:31:00.000-07:00

It's charming, it's innovative, it's entertaining and bright and good job bill gates. being that rich and likable is difficult.

that being said... Sarah Palin? I really hope this is as ridiculous as it has to get before the final nail's in the coffin... I want a blowout. No good argument, mccain, what on earth... lindsay lohan called her the lynne spears of politics.

So there's that, the support of the death that is speidi, and this...

oh yeah and a pregnant daughter. I don't care if her daughter's pregnant, but what if Barack Obama's daughter was pregnant? would it be private then? not a shot. a woman is not hilary, this woman is not ready to be president of the united states, and THAT is the final point, when it comes down to it.

gonna be a big man someday

2008-08-26T23:56:00.000-07:00

I hate pink and beyonce, individually, for completely different reasons.

and this is absolutely my least favorite Michael Jackson song.

go figure.

whistle while you work

2008-08-22T15:11:00.000-07:00

Christian Lander picture day!!!?!! I know. It's almost too good to be true.

Here's Christian Lander on a bridge in a place that I have to assume is in Indiana, based purely on how weird and small-towny it looks!
Well, either that or somewhere Swiss...

Here's Christian Lander with an itty bitty kitty!

IT'S PINK! Like my love for Christian Lander.

HERE'S CHRISTIAN LANDER PUTTING ICE IN BEER ON THE SIDEWALK!
Why are you puttin' ice in your beer, Christian? Maybe you're making brass monkeys? let's hope there's more to this story.

HAAAPPPY FRIDAYYYYYY!

moment of blog: august 22

2008-08-22T15:02:00.000-07:00

bai ling, you are so crazy.

"I love the sunny lazy afternoon on Friday driving and shooting some cool stough in Hollywood.......

Look at those 2 on the wall, they are happy? Or just happy they stuck on the wall? Or just really unhappy? Why are they there up high on Friday on the wall? Do they live there and just happened when I walk by to emerge to see the weather while they just woke up?

What is their plan for tonight?"

just to give you some perspective, she's talking about paintings of rugrats characters. no no. I'm serious.

I'll dance my life away

2008-08-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

THIS EXISTS IN REAL LIFE

And that, honestly, makes me really happy. Next month: Applebees!

rough day at the goldmines

2008-08-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

I just had the creepiest like, flash thought of China getting hit by some, like, freak natural disaster right at the end of the Olympics. But it's like, created by someone, a weather bomb, kind of, on the olympics. It'd probably be from Japan. Not because Japan is bad in any way, I'm a fan as far as I know... but just because they're the only country I would believe could plausibly engineer such an attack (they have UNDERWEAR in VENDING MACHINES). Oh god am I going to get patriot acted?

anyways, yay olympics! beijing! no hurricanes.

ALL 7 AND WE'LL WATCH THEM FALL

2008-08-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

LISTEN TO THESE SONGS ALL THE TIME
I know they're not all new THATS OKAY

Shake it - Metro Station
Kiss with a Fist - Florence and the Machine
Deep at Night - Ercola vs. DJ Heikki L

that's all for now but they're good on repeat.

Ryan Lochte is more fun than Michael Phelps. Probably.

2008-08-20T15:57:00.000-07:00

more cat pictures

hahahaha I love lolcats so much.

long time... I've been writing everything on my blackberry, and there it sits, ready to be posted. Any day now there will be a cavalcade, if that's a word, of posts. much like the great shark week quake of 08, it's going to rock your world.

get busy livin: best wishes morgan freeman

2008-08-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

Mario lopez managed to become so cool that, going to a commercial on dance crew he said "ABDC, keep it locked"... And then he winked... And I DIDNT FIND IT ANNOYING. I mean there people that can pull that off, but almost entirely they are people who, at least initially, were comedy-based. Him and neil patrick harris have fuckin ANSWERS man.

That was going to end there but... I get that they were both on sitcoms, which are... Well, situational comedies, you could say. So they could be seen as comedic actors... But there's a distinction between the artistic images they have and, say, a will ferrell. I guess it comes down to, if you flipped to a channel and this person was on, whether you would automatically KNOW it was a comedy. There's the distinction.

This is gonna be the best shark week ever!

2008-07-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

WHAT UP LA
So I know it's shark week, and asking you to leave the vicinity of your television is not only cruel, it's downright disrespectful... but regardless. It's time to get our hope on.

Obama is so hip, so cool, so very "very". GOD I LOVE HIM.
So if you're in LA, get yo' ass to the Echoplex and let's Barack the fuckin' vote.
yes... yes, we can.

it's in the game

2008-07-21T00:07:00.001-07:00

Christian Lander is in a commercial!

Aw! he's so good! charming, photogenic, self-deprecating... and canadian. swoon.
I really love when photo celebs go live action.

I've come to you cuz I need guidance to be true

2008-07-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

more cat pictures

hahahahhaa

Mario Lopez

2008-07-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

I LOOOOOVE Americas Best Dance Crew (if you're not watching it, I DONT CARE HOW LAME YOU THINK IT IS IN THEORY, you MUST watch. It's amaaazing), but I can NOT handle shows where "America Votes!". Fuck people, man, Xtreme Dance Force was DOPE, they just got NO cred because they're rich white boys. So what, man, those boys can dance their asses off. I hope the little kid on that crew** isn't like, five foot nothing, because if he's taller than me... well, I hope to marry him. That boy's got some SHIT. In a totally, totally good way. XTREME DANCE FORCE, Keep it up, you're fuckin dope and society needs some fuckin cute boys that are (even potentially) straight. No offense, Zac Efron. I mean, you may be the prettiest human that's existed in the history of existence (and that's not exaggeration), but... let's be honest. Believing you're straight just seems far too optimistic.

(Additionally, however, I'd like to emphasize that you're fucking bomb in... well, High School Musical, but also everything else, and this should in no way be seen as any sort of criticism... it's just that no one as hot as you could possibly be even remotely attainable. Or like, the world would explode, or something.)

nobody believed (or even believes entirely, despite his dating of SEVERAL vicky's models) that Leo was straight either. So... I guess play retarded and you're oscar bound?

Then again I guess that's true for anyone that has any recognizability... play retarded or aids-having and you're almost assured a nod. But... and, let's be honest... no one wants to see Zac Efron retarded. We want to see him... well, flirting. With me. IN REAL LIFE.

God I hate being way too old for my crushes.

**I'm SCOURING the internet, how is there not a fucking profile? I love these boys.

(again... too old for these crushes. I need to stick to Chad from Alltell (my TOP celeb crush, shut up you're dumb, he's fucking hot)... I bet he's around my age.)

read!

2008-07-09T13:29:00.000-07:00

So the stuff white people like book came out, and let me tell you, it is well worth the buy. The quiz is hilarious. GO BUY IT SUPPORT... White people? And Christian Lander!!

i hope linds gets gay married

2008-07-09T13:28:00.000-07:00

So I'm watching georgia rule and linds is in a vets office making pizza, or something, I don't know I just turned it on, but when she opens the fridge you can see a sugar free red bull. Which is totally lindsays, right? I mean real lindsay. I hate when movies mess up, how hard is it kids.

Ok, retracted, linds (in the movie) is drinking it now. Touche.

shut up jamie lynn

2008-07-09T13:26:00.000-07:00

NO FUCKING WAY!! Shannen doherty, who I love, is going to be... Are you ready? Brenda walsh. She's back, I loooove brenda, she's so intense, and we know kellys back as like, the guidance counselor, so that means draaaamaaaa. I would give up... Anything, eating, if they could get luke perry. He's... Ok, I love him, but... A little old, so it would be ridiculous, but I mean... Want an automatic fanbase of every girl and more than a handful of guys who were in highschool between 1986 and 2000? Bring back that love triangle. I hope shenae grimes is good.

born in the usa

2008-07-09T13:24:00.000-07:00

NonononoNONONO! DO NOT give them a show! What is wrong with everybody?!? They are vile conniving douchebags. STOP LOOKING AT THEM.

I hesitate to say, but I truly believe it... They WILL destroy your soul. They are the face of everything that is wrong. Stop looking and they'll go away!! We have to unite. I'm totally serial.

watch americas best fance crew

2008-06-27T19:42:00.000-07:00

Plaid is so hot right now.

hold on loosely

2008-06-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

Jamie-Lynn Spears has given birth.

That is all.

5 dollar footlongs

2008-06-17T18:36:00.000-07:00

The way they're marketing hancock is really interesting. They're just letting a little bit go at a time. First there was just him flying onto a beach, grabbing a whale and throwing it... And hitting a boat. (Wait, sorry... FIRST there were building sized posters for it in la with no real descriptive images. Weird.) Ok so then there was the whale throwing but also him flying around drunk and generally being a goofy fuckup. So then we had a protagonist. Then there was the flying drunk, and some guy confronting him and encouraging him to use his powers for good. And either with that or the next one, we have Hancock talking and taking on becoming the hero he can be. So he's the Rudy of superheroes. In a way. And now, the newest ones, we see him start to become a real superhero. So... If you think about it, if you wait a few more weeks they'll probably have covered most of the plot, and you can save a buck.

moment of blog: june 11

2008-06-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

well Bai Ling has done it again. Here's your moment of blog.

"I can't believe it, there are life orenge trees just stand in front of me and behind me when I walked out of the door, so fresh and real, it opened my eyes instincly from the tiredness of the daily life. How magic nature is and life, the color tha shape, the test of its own individul flaver, can't figure it out how, but I always think nature is the master of Art, they create all kinds of art in all kinds of ways to please us, to give us joy and fun and enlightment and love. I am lucky to see those orenge trees and to test its flaver of freshness just right there, just after the sunset but we still can see the color of the orenge, yes, all the fresh orenges just like hundreds of the reduced sun, maybe there are the baby the sun left for us after he is gone for the day? Maybe the sun is just a gigantic fresh orenge hanging on a big invisible earth tree?"

Maybe, Bai Ling. May... be.

hit me with your best shot and fire away

2008-06-11T19:53:00.000-07:00

Leonard from Big Bang Theory (which I'll plug again because I think it's HILARIOUS... a fact that I think I need to credit in large part to Kaley Cuoco (sp?) because I've been watching 8 Simple Rules reruns and I like THAT too, so maybe she's just awesome? Or maybe she just picks good shows) is Trouty on My Boys (another show that I love love love and face a lot of disagreement on). That's kind of awesome, way to show some range.

The actor is Johnny Galecki I guess he was on Roseanne too although I never watched that (I know. shut up.) and he was born in Belgium so that's fun (he's American though, don't worry).

That's all I got.

fist bump

2008-06-11T19:51:00.000-07:00

So there's not going to be one fucking blonde girl on the new 90210? Who are we kidding? Not ONE?

Plus the "quirky" girl is SUPER annoying. Wearing headbands from American Apparel doesn't make you quirky or interesting. It doesn't make you NOT these things, by any means, but YOU NEED TO TRY HARDER, PRODUCERS.

this is not getting off to a good start.

BARACK OBAMA FOR PRESIDENT!

2008-06-03T18:14:00.001-07:00

Obama is the Democratic nominee for 2008!!!!!!
This... is.. the day I have been waiting for.

Obama Nation, I love it.
BARACK OBAMA FOR PRES 08!!!!!

no air no air

2008-06-02T20:52:00.000-07:00

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO?

2008-05-21T01:52:00.000-07:00

So there's this commercial for mercury insurance where they are joking about how they "need a cute mascot". Which is, clearly, saying 'don't be sucked in by the gecko' (so - guess Geico's doing well). Well... Fuck that. Wrong angle to take, Mercury, because the Geico gecko is the best thing to happen to commercials since a frog said "bud".

Stephen Colbert just had a ddr-off with Rain, the Korean (maybe? I hope) pop star that crazies flood the Time Top 100 People message board with plugs for, and who otherwise I have never heard mentioned until this point. Anyway, good choice, Rain's publicist.

living lohan is pure evil

2008-05-21T01:46:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to worry that kung fu panda might be really awesome.

creative differences

2008-05-18T01:42:00.000-07:00

because Christian Lander picture day was missed, I'm making it today. So here it is!

This is the picture of Christian Lander that was IN LA WEEKLY!! He's blowin' up!!! He was in the Los Angeles People of 2008 issue, which... seems a bit early in the year? but I'm so proud of him! I mean, despite not actually knowing him. Oh Christian, let's hang out. You can even bring your wife. Seriously.

Hot Canadians: Shenae Grimes

2008-05-17T21:12:00.001-07:00

Shenae Grimes is our new reigning hot Canadian, as our last May candidate fell apart mid-article. He should really learn to keep it together.

Shenae Grimes is gorgeous. Here's what I assume is a personal photo and it makes me kind of love her.

She is really very normal-girl gorgeous but still manages to be unique and interesting, and she truly has a star quality, I believe. She is from Toronto and is only 18, young even for the Degrassi cast (before the new characters were added she was the youngest).

Shenae Grimes is Darcy on Degrassi. Darcy... until very recently... was so fucking awful. Not PLAYED awfully by any means, so no flack to Shenae. But Darcy was a very frustratingly self-righteous bible thumping cheerleader and everything she was involved with became incredibly convoluted and hypocritical to the point where you could just dive through the tv and shake her. this is what she looks like in the credits:

Here's a rundown: Darcy's first appearance was as the girl who Toby paid 5 bucks to kiss Rick because Rick felt bad that he was getting slaughtered in their bet that they could get more girls to kiss them in a day (Rick lost because everyone hated him because he put Terry in a coma). I am 99% sure that was her first speaking role, though she may have had a line as a cheerleader previously. Anyways. She slowly worked her way in later after Rick shot Jimmy and subsequently shot himself and then Spinner admitted that he had told Rick that Jimmy had pulled the prank that led to the shooting and then all of Spinner's friends hated him and so he was completely alone and befriended Darcy, the only person in a while to be nice to him. They were clearly flirting and then she invited him to Friendship Club, the Christian club. Spinner found their welcoming attitude and lack of judgement over his previous discretions comforting, and so he became something of a member and he and Darcy started dating. She was a virgin, he wasn't (duh, Paige). There was some drama here and there, mostly Spinner being something of a dick and Darcy overreacting because she took everything as a moral outrage because she had no defined personality. Also she was (during this and sometimes after) incredibly self-righteous and judgmental, (the best example being her refusing to let Mia onto the cheerleading squad, despite her being perfect for it, because she was a teen mother). Then her identity crisis started to take over and she started posting racy pictures of herself on the internet, which progressed to nearly porn-like levels when Peter's "friend" Adams, a reader of her blog, offered money for more pictures and she agreed because cheerleading wanted sluttier shorts, and Peter, who sucks, took the pictures. Then Adams, the online stalker, turned out to not be Peter's friend but just a perv and he showed up at her house and there was this whole to-do. Before that, Peter, who sucks, showed Danny and Derek the pictures,and Spinner found out, and they broke up. Then he slept with Paige, then she took him back, then she found out he slept with Paige, then they broke up, then she went to bible camp for the summer and then... they're friends.

So.

Then, somehow, I sort of forget because it was pretty gradual, her and Peter started dating. Hmmmm I really can't remember the specific tipping point. But she was still really internally conflicted about the whole picture thing and sort of got depressed and then she got drunk while at a party at some resort or something and then she got drugged and raped. WHOA. Peter and her broke up because she didn't remember so he just thought that she got drunk and lost her virginity to someone else, and once she remembered she was too ashamed to talk about it, but she finally did and he was pretty supportive... but in the midst of all this she completely lost it and was totally bitchy to everyone, and worst of all, totally started blatantly flirting with Mr. Simpson, and then when he gave her a low grade she said that he had been flirtatious with her and essentially ruined his life because even though she came clean and got cleared... once that kind of thing is out there there's always the slight question, you know? it's really heartbreaking. Anyways. Then she went on this retreat with the kid who killed JT's friend and Peter and some other bad kids, and she finally realized it's not her fault.

SO.

Now her and Peter are dating and she is sort of becoming friends with Spinner's new girlfriend Jane, who I'm not sure if I care for yet, and she's finally humbled and a genuinely good person.

Got it?
Good.

So, she's also been cast as the lead character in the new 90210 (which I am skeptically excited about). That's kind of huge, both because that show is going to generate a TON of hype despite how good it ends up being and will raise her recognizability significantly, and because as far as a I know no other Degrassi kid has yet had a starring role in another show (or even a major role on a non-N show). Pretty major. Her character has been described as "the Brenda", and is named Annie Mills. This is the character that Hilary Duff was going to play (hypothetically). The show centers around 3 generations of her family. The only well known adult cast on the show is Lori Loughlin which means... she might be playing her mom? Loughlin looks way too young for that to me (although she isn't), but okay.

Here's a picture of her at some CW party...

Shenae Grimes is, clearly, kind of awesome. Shenae sang a part of a Christmas record by some band called Fucked Up, with Nelly Furtado and others. Apparently in the song, Shenae wishes Toronto-ans a "Merry fucking whatever!"... which is lovable.

So there you go. Shenae Grimes: Up-and-coming Canadian, and a friend to you and me. And, hopefully, the gays.

I'm still a PC, but the pull is strong

2008-05-17T21:04:00.000-07:00

So maybe this is retarded. But doesn't PC stand for Personal Computer? Are Macs not personal? Maybe the PC market should push that angle. Macs: sleeker and trendier, and with Justin Long, but not confident enough to put "personal" in their name. THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU!

(Not-So) Hot Canadians: Danso Gordon

2008-05-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

This is Danso Gordon. Say hello.

He's Canadian! I was watching South of Nowhere, The N's best show besides Degrassi (and maybe as good now that those crazy Canadians have gotten all slicked out and popular), and I thought, are these actors Canadian too? I checked Mandy Musgrave and Christian... Something (the two girls) first, because they're the main characters, I guess, but they're from DC and Florida (reverse respectively). But! Then I checked this feller out, and he's from Toronto!

well, this is where this ends. Doing some research, I found that he left South of Nowhere due to their "pro-homosexual agenda". I guess everyone has a right to their own opinion, but I can no longer include him with the likes of the joyous Christian Lander and Tokyo Police Club (though, admittedly, I do not know their views on homosexuality, I do know that their DISLIKE of homosexuality is not something that has been relevant enough to be included on their wikipedia page (and Christian Lander IS searchable on Wikipedia, I checked, although it does redirect to the "Stuff White People Like" page. Which is acceptable for now)).

I may decide to take this down, but I'm feeling bold right now so here goes.

you could literally cruise the vistas in it

2008-05-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

So... I read this somewhere else, but it ones to be one of the names I liked for MY (hypothetical) kids, so I feel like I should publicly agree... No more naming your kid Madison. It's like naming your kid Courtney in 1995. Basically, it was so original and cute like 6 years ago, when everyone in my age bracket was in their mid-teens, which is when girls decide on these names that they hang onto for years until they have children. But... now it's everywhere. I THINK it was the top girl's name last year. That's crazy. Like, above Sarah or Elizabeth. What happened to the classics? So, here's the thing. EVEN if you liked it before it was popular, it's now played out. Don't do it. I could go on but I think you get it. The name is over, and... Shiloh is the new Madison (Suri is a cuter name but no one wants to be like TomKat), so if you're 16, think of something else. I promise, you'll be happy you did.

come to cali and get gay married!

2008-05-15T18:51:00.000-07:00

I am sooooo into andrew from top chef. I'm watching last nights right now and I feel like he is getting kicked off, which breaks my heart. He is such a tweaker but I think he is hilarious. Bravo always brings the hotties.

you know you love me

2008-05-12T20:21:00.000-07:00

I fucking KNEW the cheating was a cover up... Although I'm pretty sure that what actually happened is going to be anticlimactic, like they were all on drugs and some dude died and she didn't save him. But... Man this show is awesome. Why is chuck so hot??

This ep really could use some jenny though

farmer shouldnt wear girls v neck shirts

2008-05-09T06:29:00.000-07:00

Ok so I'm from the midwest and maybe life is just way different there... But, I'm watching farmer wants a wife and... Do people really get to age 21 without ever having milked an animal? Like... I haven't milked anything recently, because I don't really care about animals and whatever, but with preschool and summer camp and field trips and all that, I've probably milked 20 cows or so, not to mention a few goats. God maybe growing up in the midwest is really weird, even as I'm writing this I can see how insane it looks to someone from like LA. We also call parking structures "ramps", btw.

But also my entire willingness to accept the premise of this show was blown, because he showed up to the girls' house in overalls over a purple deep v neck t that I'm pretty sure I have and is american apparel. So, either a) he is getting dressed by producers who are retarded, b) he is gay or c) he is not a farmer. My guess is d) all of the above.

ALSO, politics has been brought up entirely too much. People get uncomfortable when characters are vocally opposed to their political views.

I should sleep, but duty calls.

solve any crime by dinner time

2008-05-06T11:57:00.001-07:00

so I guess I'm like the only person in the world that thinks Mary-Kate looks awesome in this outfit...

And it's not even because I love her. I love the gold, I love the shoes, I love the vintage-store-find type cut of the dress, I love the messy hair... she looks great. I really don't see what people aren't liking? Like, they're commenting that it's "too big" but... it's not. And they're commenting that it's too drapey, but... drapey is a look too, deal with it. And they're commenting about her hair looking bad but... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO DO THE MESSY/HOT THING? It's hard and I love it.

Even weirder is that everyone's talking about how amazing Ashley looked, and while she does look like a real live grown up in that dress, she also sort of looks like she just got a chemical peel or something...

I mean, right? She looks weird. She looks like Marcia Brady. Or like she needs a shower. Or some combination thereof. Ew, actually, I figured it out, but it's too terrible... in the picture to the left, she looks like Dominique from Next Top Model (the one who's on right now)... and if you're watching you're aware that that is not a compliment. Pull it together, Ash, are you wasted?

Also, MK is wearing like 3 inch heels, what the hell shoes is Ashley rocking to pull this height difference off?