Wednesday, December 26, 2007

britney's banging a papparazzo!

I hate Ashley Tisdale's new nose.



She went from looking like she had a bad overbite to looking like a more rodent-y "every slutty girl in 10th grade".

She really should have gotten some advice from Ashlee Simpson. That girl knows how to get a fuckin' nose job.

That is all.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

she ain't nothin' but a hoochie mama

ok 2 things...

1. Is that Jenna Elfman's voice on the gift.com commercial? It sounds a ton like her.

2. I just saw a commercial for the Methodist church. Are religions having commercials now? Really? Are Methodists that hard up? I know a lot of Methodists... but really. Religion is not pop culture, and it's not something you buy (except Scientology)... let's get it off my tv, yeah? Too weird.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

we prefer the term mentally hilarious

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS IS PREGNANT. She is PREGNANT. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH THE SPEARS FAMILY IS A REALITY SHOW FOR GOD THAT IS THE ONLY EXPLANATION.


Still love ya, Brit.

Monday, December 17, 2007

men men men men manly men men men

what's with all the claymation commercials? mac and alltel, both with santa... in claymation. I don't know. Unless it's in association with Frosty the Snowman or Rudolph, claymation and Christmas don't necessarily go together to me. But, at least they're cute-ish, I guess. I miss the real alltel guy. Call me, Chad!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

really joe lieberman? really?

Bad girls club is the best show... possible. God. Talk about television with class. On the season premier, Tanitha (?) was running around and fell and started yelling "pimp down!". I kid you not. GOD THIS IS SO AWESOME. Watch it.

I could never hang with these bitches.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

it's motherfucking britney bitch

I do this a lot. These are pretty fantastic.




and, get ready for a whole lot of awesome...



go watch the piece of me video... gotta hand it to her, lookin hot in the purple dress. Even though I'm SURE she just threw her hair up in that bun like halfway through the shoot and refused to take it down.

and of course


Britney 4-eva

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I saw you wading in the water

Late of the Pier is the greatest band you should listen to them and rock out it will make you happy!

This is the only actual music video so far, I think, and it's not their best song, but it's interesting and I like the electro stuff.



This is my favorite song of their, but it's live so it sounds different... it's on their myspace...


looooove it. They're from the UK they are obviously kind of weird and probably really fun to party with and probably kind of sweating? but maybe in a hot way.

Monday, December 10, 2007

WHO CARES WHO JESSICA SIMPSON IS BONING?

I'm really trying to hate it, because I don't really like remakes, and the poster was terrible, but the more previews I see for Alvin and the Chpimunks the more I think it might be amazing.

I'm watching Mary Poppins and Uncle Albert is stuck on the ceiling. HE LOVES TO LAUGH!

Chim Chiminee

Mary Poppins is awesome. Dick VanDyke is awesome. Julie Andrews is awesome. These kids are fucking awesome. They just jumped into a painting. And you totally buy it. Yeah, they totally just jumped the hell into that painting, they're running off to the merry go round, but "don't fall and smash the drawing." It IS a jolly holiday. There is really nothing about this movie that isn't awesome. The cartoon farm animals singing are perfect. Everything with magic is always fascinating, and EVERYHITNG in this movie is about magic. Mary Poppins is the original Harry Potter. I guess Angela Lansbury is the original Mary Poppins. Bedknobs and Broomsticks is fucking awesome too.

if you're impatient start it at 1:50



and obviously

Sunday, December 9, 2007

I guess scott baio got married

FOUR WEEKS 'TIL AMERICAN GLADIATORS! God I hope Nitro is still on.

britney IS pregnant?

walk a mile in vintage heels

Saturday, December 8, 2007

is nathan petrelli dead?!!?



This was my favorite. It's worth your time. Do it.



Awesome. Yes. Haha I've watched it 4 times.

And... you know the twist and shout scene from Ferris Bueller? this is like that, but more educational. And BETTER. filming this must have been so fun. This reminds me of how weird and awesome people used to be. It's like when the harlem globetrotters were cool and pot was universal and people didn't even conceive of text messaging yet... in fact I don't even think they had post its yet... post its are the original text messaging.



Marlo Thomas is awesome.

bigger than the beatles

I'm pumped bianca got cut

OH MY GOD I placed it! I didnt look this up I swear, but I'm pretty sure Rebecca on Beauty and the Geek was in the babysitters club tv series. Or, if not, something in a very similar vein. Hmmmmm I bet the website doesn't even have her last name. It's torturing me.

evel kneivel is dead rip



Obviously.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

HOW MUCH WILL YOU HUMILIATE YOURSELF FOR MONEY

this girl Jasmine just got totally humiliated on beauty and the geek. she handled it really well though. she's VERY pretty. But wow. They're making her like... touch a tarantula and it's huge and gross and she can't and she's CRYING.
This was really embarassing.

eta 15 minutes later: OH MY GOD this show HAS TO BE STOPPED. This is humiliating. Oh god, every part of it, everyone looks terrible, it's painful. Oh god. Joshua's MOM just got called on as a surprise and she's wearing a t shirt with his face on it. And now he won "geekiest geek" oh wow.

5 minutes later and they are making rebecca, this very pretty sweet girl, come on stage and massage one of the geeks because he got all his back hair waxed and she promised. This is criminal, she could die. They like brought in a massage table.

I hope Jasmine wins. She's so pretty, and the girl geek is lame. Shut up, nerd.

(commercial break) did you know 1 in 4 people think they sweat more than normal? SPICE GIRLS commercial I want tickets it's tomorrow. Most commercials are bad. I am NOT watching Crowned.

The girl who really wants camera time is blabbering about something, she looks so desperate. uncomfortable. Now all the geek guys are saying how much more they're getting laid now. awkward.

THEY'RE NAMING THE WINNER. VOTED FOR BY YOU - AMERICA - YOU! That's how they're saying it. They keep saying America. Awwwwwkward.

open the envelopes on the count of 3...

(commercial break)

what happens is kids see something being done subversively on mtv or whatever and then in an act of attempted subversiveness they copy these actions... but what they don't get is that every other kid is seeing that and copying that too... and when it becomes apparent that their actions are not unique, instead of seeing that connection, they assume that others are copying them, and then they become arrogant, along with being an unoriginal douchebag. That's the problem, I think, because at some point everyone wants to be subversive (or, a teenagers version of it), but no one just knows how to go about that organically.

DAVE AND JASMINE WIN!!!!! OH I'm so happy! They are so much better.

SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!!



Zig-a-zig-ah!

Monday, December 3, 2007

the rhythm is gonna get ya

j lo is pregnant and nobody cares

I really just can't see any good reason why I shouldn't win the lottery.