Thursday, February 28, 2008

can I get some fries with that shake shake booty

do you ever see a commercial, and then think about what show you're watching, and then get a little upset that you may (because you are watching this program) be joining the target audience for that commercial? It forces you to think about your viewing choices in terms of what they say about your life. Intense.

you're either in or you're out

There's this show AxMen coming on, and I'm pretty excited. Because, being from Minnesota, and even though it seems completely strange to me now, I kind of always had the impression that you could legitimately grow up to be a lumberjack. I mean, that was something that actual people did, that I had seen. We have the Lumberjack Festival up in Stillwater or somewhere like that, and they do the whole log running thing, and you see it on ESPN and I feel like to most people I know now that's just ridiculous, it's a show, it's whatever... but that's real, and maybe like 15 years before me there were kids that were going to my high school and then being lumberjacks. Is that the weirdest? But anyways, I've always seen it as more real and seen lumberjacks as real and not fictional characters, like I feel some people do, like it's Paul Bunyan and that's it... but Paul Wellstone went and met with a bunch of log workers and I saw the meeting once and it was good. So... the show should be good.

OH MY GOD HOW INTENSE??!!!? So excited. I wonder if it's on already? Oh man.

all things go, all things go

Come on, Head and Shoulders... non one uses scrunchies anymore. Are we recycling commercials from 1992? Let's get real.

UPDATE: Ok. Come on, Zyrtec. No one wears khakis. You can't present a girl who is cute, and is apparently supposed to be thought of as cute and normal... wearing khakis capris? What year is this? Who is styling these commercials? Are all commercials directed towards women who bought their beauty products at drug stores while living at some point between 1987 and 1994? Are they all written by people in rural Nebraska who just started watching The Bachelor? Maybe I'm nitpicky, but I'm very sensitive to the period-appropriateness of items. I was the first one of my friends to call that the season finale of Los last season (SPOILER) was a flash-future, because Jack called someone and that phone wasn't out yet when their plane crashed. That phone came out in 2006, so he must be off the island in the future. Obviously. And there's another time it happened recently but I can't remember the context. Anyways. Fashion choices as well... all middle-range directed commercials are very stuck in the country club preppy khakis and florals early 90s, like Patty Chase or even like the Keatons... like work-casual, high waisted grey or khaki pants that are ugh and make your ass look big and really people want to see people who are a little more fashionable on commercials, and NO ONE who cares about fashion at all, IN THE LEAST, is wearing that. NO ONE WEARS KHAKIS. They're ugly. They're for insecure preteens who go to private school and have to wear them and don't want to wear the skirt. So this was all a little mean but now I'm done. Update commercial fashions now!!

ps it's ok for guys to wear khakis.

may all your ups and downs be in bed

How does Hugh Hefner not seem at all repellent? He's just so likable and respected in like a real way, somehow, and it's kind of amazing. Star quality. Some people just have it. But jesus. He's a genius... it's crazy. He's just this really creative visionary guy and he had this vision going from when he was like... 15? And he just did it. I'm watching the THS and he like... got rejected by this girl because he didn't know how to be the pursuer, and so then he just decided to reinvent himself as this really cool irresistible guy so that people would pursue him instead. And it jut worked. And then he had this creative vision as well, involving glorifying beautiful women and he drew all these cartoons that are pretty amazing... and he blended it and got it done. Craaaaazy. That wasn't nearly a good explanation, but you should tivo it, it's way interesting. Respec'.

I've got a crush on Obama

John McCain sex scandal? I really appreciated how John Stewart responded to it, right as Larry King broke it on his show... if there really is some issue with illegal dealings between him and a lobbyist, then yes it's valid and should be exposed, but, as I believe he said "parasitic dealings with lobbyists" are very out in the open and known about and him accepting money is nothing that anyone doesn't know. And if it's about a personal relationship between him and this woman, and both of them are denying it, and it was years ago, and he's married and has a family and is old and a respected member of society... then this is just really unnecessary and another example of trying to turn important news into entertainment and the stories into pop culture and it degrades the whole idea of what we're supposed to be accomplishing. So I hope this fades away. Just let it go people. A cigar is just a cigar.

coffee coffee buzz buzz buzz

Soooooo.... this is what I want for my birthday.
WOW wow wow SO exciting!
I love MK

Monday, February 25, 2008

we're the kids in america

Ellen Page kind of let me down. First movie! Oscar nominee! Played something of a cultural and personal role model figure to a lot of young adults, someone emulate-able, and with interesting and unique style (she wears a pleated skirt over jeans)! Is being admired and praised and seen as intriguing and cool by most of the country! Aaaand she shows up to the Oscars in this:

GET A MORE EXCITING DRESS!!! I mean... don't you WANT a more exciting dress? You're a nominee, major designers TOTALLY want to dress you. You don't have to be like the High School Musical kids who show up to shit wearing Juicy. Sigh. She was dressed like a chaperone at a high school prom. She's so adorbs!!! Why not embrace it?! Throw on some frills, some pink shoes, a bird in your hair... something! Remember when Anna Paquin won when she was like 12 for The Piano and she had that craaaaaazy poofy dress and that heinous hat and the whole thing was very medieval times? THAT was taking advantage of the first oscar nod situation.

Here's a video for reference:

I guess in retrospect she's VERY young and so it's probably mean and unnecessary to make fun of her outfit like that but she's my age and I remember being pretty appalled by it at the time, too, so I see that as legitimizing my criticism.

Anyways, point is, that outfit was heinous but at least she got to DO something. Ellen Page just dressed for the Junior homecoming dance that she doesn't really want to go to but she has to because her mom's making her go with this boy who's new in town but she just totally doesn't realize what a skeezy loser the guy is and so ellen page just said fuck it and threw on some pearls and some shoes that she doesn't really like and are too clunky for that dress* and smoked pot out back after asking her lame-o date for some punch 11 times before he got the hint.

It's not even the plain black simple cut thing. She's done that several times very successfully.




In fact, it seems to be, essentially, what she does. But you know what? I approve of all of these! In fact, I sort of covet the 3rd one! But it's the OSCARS and you're ADORABLE and WHO CARES if it's a little ridiculous that you were nominated (even though I'm soooo glad you were and I loooooved the movie), EMBRACE IT! WEAR COLOR! Sigh. This whole thing is very upsetting.

Jennifer Garner looked gorgeous. Marion Cottillard or however you spell it is precious. I still love Ellen Page. Where was Jason Bateman? Michael Cera? Lindsay Lohan? WAIT WHERE WAS LINDSAY LOHAN? She has officially been demoted from Actress (legitimate) to pure pop culture fodder (Hilton-esque). Sad times.

*I haven't seen what shoes she was actually wearing.

beeper beeper beeper beeper

I loooove this. Song, video, you name it. I stole it from Eat Skeet, djs always have the good music first. I want Kid Sister's whole outfit.

Toooooo bad only drug dealers have beepers. And at this point probably not even them.

it's not your fault. it's not your fault.

I'd rather f*ck Matt Damon.
Nice cameo Brad! The Oceans 11 kids are def the coolest guys in Hollywood.
Ben's skinny huh?

This actually gets pretty hilarious. what a random group, what did they do put out a myspace bulletin to celebs? holler mclovin.

It's a rare condition

Fuck yo' tap water! LA owns.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

team kerrigan


I have never watched Dancing with the Stars, except briefly to try and catch Jennie Garth and Ian Ziering (GUESS WHAT GENERATION I'M FROM). But Kristy Yamaguchi is a personal hero of mine and this is VERY exciting.

90s olympics what what.

OOOOH and she marketed those rollerblades where you could do ice skating tricks. I only figure skated for 3 years, not really triple lutz level. But I still watch any special that Kristy is in. LOOOOVE her. So pumped.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Charlie Bartlett's gonna be awesome

Despite the crotch shots and nip slips and sluttiness and whatnot... I really thought it would take a lot longer before Linds gave up the goods so "intentionally." And I get that they're evoking Marilyn or whatever... but she doesn't look like... classy. She just looks naked.

But if anyone in the world didn't think she was hot at least now they know they're wrong. Gorgeous.

Saturday, February 16, 2008


Ok so I get that Hannah Montana is this really big deal and that's cool or whatever I don't really care, I guess it's better than 10 year olds looking up to a Hilton...

But Miley Cyrus is a little toothy... right? She's pretty? I think? I don't know, she needs to grow into it maybe.

the environment is not sexy

So Liberty’s looking fucking good lately, huh? She has less belly in that purple dress than Emma, who is in no way remotely close to anything but hot. Emma is REALLY pretty. Emma can NOT walk in heels… waaayyyy too much arm swaying. Let’s make both of those previous comments Miriam McDonald instead of Emma. I don’t think there’s any reason she’d intentionally act Emma as not able to walk in heels. She’s tall, so I guess it makes sense. Anyways, at least she’s not anorexic anymore. Emma, that is. I know nothing about Miriam McDonald as a person… well, besides that most of the cast has, at some point, said she’s really fucking weird (they didn’t swear). So that’s interesting… you see a lot of cases of pretty (socially) normal/relatable girls playing weirdos, and that’s always kind of impressive, so I guess if she’s as weird in real life as it sounds like she might be, it’s probably pretty impressive that she plays someone so socially normal. BUUUUT I guess Emma’s not really that, either. ANYWAYS. Manny is the best.

UM ps advertising purple dragon girl… and, I guess, writers… you are in a HIGHSCHOOL. Emma is a senior. Everyone knows her. Guys are not coming up to her and telling her to get naked. But OH MY GOD if they make emma anorexic again… well, that fictional company is going DOWN. She JUST got over that, let her get back to boy issues.

Ps… I will say that the anorexia eps are some of the best of the whole series.

double double

Lil' Wayne is AWWWWESOME. Here are some quotes from Blender!

“Fuck yo’ favorite rapper!” Lil Wayne
“I’m a Martian, and if you understand me, then you’re Jesus Christ” Lil Wayne

Seriously. He wins.

fuck the yankees

So I just saw an old family guy and at the end this lady (who I think is named Victoria) like, in real life wakes up from a dream and goes to the shower and opens it and there’s Patrick Duffy and they do this whole thing but when I laughed I was like haha way to go Patrick Duffy and then I thought, at 24, is it strange that I know the name of the actor who was the dad on step by step? Actually maybe not at all. TGIF baby. Remember when Cody had the cheesehead and won the lottery? And then later one season he just was gone? That was weird.

addicted to awesome

So here’s the thing with Daniel Baldwin and MaryEllen (Cary, for reference)… people are like saying she has to take responsibility because she texted him back and stuff but from what she was saying it doesn’t sound like she DID send any pictures, she was just like “aw you’re sweet” while he was complimenting her and then it escalated and she got freaked out and stopped texting. That’s basically what she said. But everyone’s placing blame, when really here’s what happened: She is in here trying to give up drugs/drinking whatevs and as a part of that to give up her persona that she took on as a porn star “Mary Cary” and become who she really is, Mary Ellen, and Daniel took her in and gained her trust by acting as a father figure, a support figure, and then when she was really starting to lean on him and confide in him he took advantage of her insecurities and treated her not as Mary Ellen, but as Mary Cary. And all things considered I think she handled it pretty well… I hate that big new guy, stop lying, stop being a douchebag. Mary Ellen, you should be proud of yourself. Also, you were beautiful dancing.

stop looking at kiddie porn

I really love that Mike Huckabee went on the Colbert report except… do republicans like the Colbert report? Isn’t it making fun of republicans? Maybe he’s going for the independents… But Colbert’s genuinely enjoying and supporting him… but he’s also “playing” Colbert, the guy who hosts the show not the real guy I know it doesn’t seem clear at any point where the line is but it’s there… or is he? I really want to know who Stephen Colbert, the citizen of the US, voted for. Probably Hilary. Mike Huckabee beats him at air hockey with a texas shaped puck. Huckabee wins Texas! And honestly, great composure Huckabee… maintaining a political point while killing at air hockey, and even making a zinger as you score. Gotta respect that.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


Britney is out. Now I have plans tonight! I'm gonna go hang around Sherman Oaks gas stations until she rolls in and we become best friends. THAT IS THE ENTIRETY OF THE PLAN. I hope it works I really love her.

all your diction, dripping with disdain

Remember when Heidi Montag was sort of cute, in a way that made you kind of resentful, not because she was SO cute, but because she was pretty and skinny and had a good wardrobe despite the fact that she is a terrible person?

well, those days are over.

officially busted. I usually wouldn't call girls ugly, but when most of your appearance is manufactured, BY YOUR CHOICE, out of silicon and stupidity, I really don't feel bad. Plus, she's a bad person. Oh yeah and her music video fucking sucks. And so does her voice. AND HER EXISTENCE. God I'm so excited for Kristen Cavalleri to save me from this blonde dipshit hell.

So in summary, if you see Heidi in public please be mean to her... throw something. like something physical... but feel free to "hurl" insults as well. Although she'll probably just tell herself (and whoever's willing to listen) that you're "just jealous". But newsflash, Heidi: WE'RE NOT.

sorry to be so mean but she really rubs me the wrong way.

sorry, there's no google on the east coast


in LA, obvs... at the El Rey on March 20th it's sold out I HAVE TO GO.

If this needs to get messy it will.

Monday, February 4, 2008


YES WE CAN! Obama '08, vote tomorrow, IT'S IMPORTANT DON'T BLOW IT OFF THIS IS YOUR LIFE KIDS. Make something happen.

"Let's be the generation that makes future generations proud of what we did here." - Barack Obama, Prez 2008 HELL YES WE CAN.