Wednesday, April 30, 2008

poor katarzyna

Whoa whoa whoa... Amanda on Farmer Wants a Wife has a seriously unfortunate hairstyle happening, it makes her forehead look enormous. Oy.

if you want me baby here I am

ok look Lauren Conrad does NOT have a sex tape have you ever SEEN the hills? SERIOUSLY? she DID. NOT. make a sex tape. EVERYTHING THEY SAY IS A LIE STOP FUCKING LISTENING TO THEM ugh I hope they die in a fire.

too hostile?

Monday, April 28, 2008

ONE THING I CAN TELL YOU IS YOU GOT TO BE FREE

humorous pictures
see more crazy cat pics

awwwww!

Coachella was fucking dope. Prince was epic. He did a cover of Come Together that blew my mind. But I know why you're really reading this, so I won't keep you waiting any longer. Here's Christian Lander!!!



CHRISTIAN LANDER IS THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD!!! god I love canada.
soooo tired.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Moment of blog: COACHELLA!!!!!

HOORAY! Coachella started today, I'm leaving work in 10 and going straight down there I'm SO. PUMPED. And guess who else is going?? BAI LING!!! HOOORAAAAAAYYY!

and here it is, your moment of blog...

You know when I was in the army in Tibet, when there is a war and the leader will pull out a map or those human made little wooden models to show you what's going on or where you should go or hide or to attack which mountain, I thought somebody is doing this somewhere positioning us all --- over the world, just like the director on set, " Bailing you come here, no here! " Someone puts me here and positioned my fate. We are the miracle of nature, just like nature is our miracle, we just have to stuck somewhere and be happy. See this is what you do when you get bored, you imaging and slip into Another world witch is invisible to our lives nomally. I am looking for the weekend to wondering off somewhere far in the desert...... To find nothing but a little yellow butterfly......

what a nutcase. hopefully we'll be best friends by the end of the weekend! or not she's like 40.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Monday, April 21, 2008

ain't nothin but a heart ache ain't nothing but a mistake

Well Mondays fucking blow huh?

Here's a picture of Christian Lander, to hopefully bring some joy to this most lame of days. And look! It's a polaroid! Hooray for non-digital things!



I do not own a digital camera. disposables all the way.
coachella countdown: 4 days.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

happy holidays

the pope's on like every channel.

Friday, April 18, 2008

it's been a summer

OMG.

Moment of Blog: April 18 2008

Here we go, another insightful and enlightening passage from blogger extraordinaire, Bai Ling. Hold on to your hats kids...

"Well all the nice stores are for wealthy old lady, the size are way too huge, like Dolce & Gabbana the size starts from #4, so sad, I really have to eat much more of the pasta steak and cheese and lots of desert and bad food, I do anyway, I love desert, but maybe I have to eat from 5am on, god life is hard when you try to find a dress and look right, don't know why all the dresses are way bigger than me, sometimes I found the smallest dress still I am swimming in it, then my nipples suddenly see the opportunity to come out to see the sunlight and dance or look for the red light district, then I am the one gets into trouble the next day from the Internet or news papers, whom to blame but me, I looked at my nipples and want to punish them, but they are Innocent, its just their nature to be free and proud. Well sometimes I really have no place and no room to explain, I don't anymore, but just let it be. "

HER NIPPLES ARE INNOCENT.
God bless Bai Ling, what a great weekend kickoff.

I won't go home without you

So. Real World: Hollywood. Ummmmmmmm well we've officially gotten over even PRETENDING that this is a reality show. Ok, even if the people who have been on this, especially in recent seasons, are doing it to "get famous", which they probably are on some level, at least that's not like their actual life goal that they're pursuing outside of this. This season we have 7 strangers who are all actively pursuing a career in entertainment, and have all dreamed of moving to hollywood. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? We don't want to watch 7 hollywood wannabe douchebags live in a house, we want to watch SEVEN STRANGERS with DIFFERENT FUCKING ASPECTS OF THEIR LIVES. You know, someone who wants to be a politician. or an architect. or a teacher. or ANYTHING THAT DOESNT GET YOU ON E! NEWS. So stupid I'm so angry.

That being said some of these people are pretty likable. I'm torn on Sarah and Will, I LOVE SARAH'S HAIR, please tell me how to make mine do that. I like the blonde guy but the fact that I don't remember his name doesn't bode well for him. I am very anti-"angry drunk guy" but when Joey's being nice he's a doll and it looks like he works through some of his issues this season. Greg is, obviously, fucking stupid, which is what you get when you let people who go on mtv.com vote. I mean he's not even that attractive, right? Am I crazy here? How did this guy win? there is NOTHING appealing about him. I hope we like "see a softer side" or whatever but even if we do, it'll probably be like when Beth says something nice... where you're like ummmm ok psycho way to normal it up for a minute.

Oh also they're living in a production studio on a studio lot and they don't even have full walls (note Greg listening from the kitchen while they're all in the confessional). Real World: Hollywood is about as real as paparazzi pictures of the demon couple (who shall, now and forever on this site, remain nameless).

mo' money mo' problems

so this girl's "allegedly" boning Putin. heh. anyways, get ready to have your mind fucking blown...



christ. color me impressed.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

nobody walks in la

So Britney's going to be the new spokesperson for Ballys (as in total fitness). HOORAY! That's good on so many levels. I'm excited. As we all know from Legally Blonde, exercising releases endorphins and endorphins make you happy and happy people don't just kill their husbands, but even more importantly happy people aren't miserable and having mental breakdowns and endangering their relationship with their children and their public image. So... yay! I'm so excited for the commercials. SHE'LL LOOK SO PRETTY.



Loves.

HILLARY LIES. VOTE OBAMA.



Obama 08. and Hillary... how DARE you say that you want what's best for this nation and then lie and manipulate like you have been. Go to hell.

come on philly do your stuff.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I've stopped caring whether the douchebags are preggers

CHECK IT! The Wackness looks SO. DOPE.

Trailer!


holy hell that embed code was long...

Anyways... look how good it looks! The best friend from Juno is in it! Her name's Olivia, maybe. I'll check. Yep, Olivia Thirlby. I think she's adorable, and interesting and based on current reports, probably nicer than Ellen Page (which is a shame). Also she's making a shitload of movies right now... she's blowin' up! Sick. She's set to be in some movie called Jack and Diane (which... is there really not a movie called that yet? that seems unlikely) that seems... well... possibly made up? but if not kind of interesting. ANYWAYS, back to the Wackness... Of course Mary-Kate will kill in it, because she's awesome, plus characters with dreadlocks are cool, plus, she's awesome. Also, the tagline for the movie is "Sometimes it's right to do the wrong things" which... well, words to live by.

So, go see the Wackness, you won't be sorry. Or you will but fuck it go anyways.

when is degrassi coming back on?

Ohai, we're your new favorite band!



MGMT is better than drugs.

live fast and die young

WELL. The internet ruined Christian Lander picture day, and I for one am pretty peeved. But, no use crying over spilt vodka tonics...



Christian Lander loooooooves dumpling soup (maybe). How exciting!

Big week... Penn votes, Real World: Hollywood premieres (these two events are obviously comparable)... plus it's hot as balls outside, so that's great. I'm glad it's not Monday.

Monday, April 14, 2008

ummmm team daisy

SO. I'm a little heartbroken. Just a little bit... ranging to kind of a lot. But seriously? Amber? She's not bad, and yes it really did seem like her and Brett had a connection... but Daisy's so great! and hotter! and less annoyingly perky all the time! And, not old. Let's not forget "not old". Also I mean... everyone attacked her for being fake or for lying or whatever, but her story was pretty clear to me... I truly believe that she 100% genuinely loved/loves Brett... and I think she had her shit a lot more together than people on the show were giving her credit for. Just because someone has fake boobs and dresses a touch slutty doesn't mean they are brain dead... ESPECIALLY in LA. Bottom line, as much as I would love to hate the "Daisy character" on this show, I didn't... she was too awesome and lovable and I totally want to hang out with her and drink beer and get a little sloppy at some sort of sporting event and make fools of ourselves yelling stuff that isn't funny... NOT TO MENTION that he's been banging her since the beginning and isn't that kind of messed up? I'm just saying.

So... YOUR LOSS, Brett Michaels, you go have a stable life with Amber, fine, I don't begrudge you anything, but Daisy was the winning pick and I'm just. so. sad.

Here's the randomest video...



Sigh.



At least Brett is still totally hot.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

BLOG AS FUCK BITCHES

an insight, brought to you by Bai Ling, my favoritest blogger:

"I think when fish look at us is like when we look at the fish in the sea, they must be so amazed by how can we survive with out water in those strange dried place we call land, is like we amazed by how amazing the fish can survive with out the air on land, one can never understand another when you breath differently, when you mind set if off, maybe this is why and this is What makes people don't understand me and think I do odd things that not normal, but what is normal? Woulden't it is boring if we are all the same and normal ware the same sized left shoe?"

WARE THE SAME SIZED LEFT SHOE????
I love this woman. I saw her in Korea Town once. IT WAS AWESOME.

too legit to quit

ok... I'm sorry... I honestly feel like I might cry. or vomit. or a little of both, which would be reflective of my day so far. all due to this little doozy right here:

Ashlee Simpson. And Pete Wentz. Are engaged.
And possibly/probably pregnant.

Ok. I honestly was pretty into fallout boy for a while, and Pieces of Me is without question one of my top 10 songs of my 20s. However. This is the most douche-tastic couple in all of famedom... mostly of because how FUCKING LAME Ashlee is... and the thought of their Britney-mocking, no-talent-having, too-much-eyeliner-wearing not-funny-or-cool selves reproducing is just really appalling.

The end. Go throw up now.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Coachella just got worth it

well holy shit... Prince just got added to Coachella! headlining the second day, that's SO. SICK. Oh man... Jack Johnson just got owned.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

and we don't care about the young folks

Ok WHAT is going on with Lindsay's nails? I know you can't see them that well...



But they're very "the sample acrylics with flamingos and shit on them that nail places have out all the time but no one actually GETS unless they're geriatric and in Boca Raton." Here's a better picture...



Oh Lindsay... dear... no. I mean, it's weird and kitschy and I honestly see where you're going with it, but psychotic nail designs aren't even retro... they're something that is only cool to really little kids who aren't old enough to get fake nails and really old women who tan too much and smoke pall malls. Everyone keeps saying you look old (even though I totally don't think you do) so WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? You're going to become an old woman in huge shades talking in a scratchy voice about guys you banged before you know it. Oh, wait...

huh.

I think...

... that I just saw a commercial for an Indian tribe?

Let me put it out here once and for all.
I am opposed to all marketing and commercials that, with no further apparent purpose, advertise any of the following:

- ethnic groups
- religions
- cults that some people may refer to as religions
- racial groups
- lifestyles (ie homo/heterosexuality)

Please keep these things off my tv. They're not things you can advertise. They're part of your identity.

Also, it's fucking annoying.

Thanks.

Monday, April 7, 2008

hit me with your best shot

so this is an action/injustice-packed article...


I'm not even like... flat out anti-polygamy. I mean I see the issues, I suppose, but I'm pretty equal opportunity about how people run their own lives... if everyone involved is cool with it, well, then it's cool to me. However... when you start incorporating (barely) teenagers, rape, abuse, obvious mental manipulation and who knows what else... well, it's pretty depressing. SORRY TO BE SUCH A DOWNER. articles like this are what make people hate and/or fear religious groups. except scientology, which we hate because it's completely psychotic.

idk my bff jill?

So I guess Monday is Christian Lander picture day. HOORAAAAAAY!

Here's Christian Lander doing this thing that apparently he and his friends call "the birdcall" and that they seem to do with alarming frequency...



ooooh inside jokes... I want to be inside one of Christian Lander's jokes. I could have gone a LOT dirtier there so be thankful.

ADDED BONUS!

Here's a picture of Jamarcus Russell that Christian Lander posted on Facebook, noting the "cosby sweater" and chain:



WOW! NEATO! WHIZ! BANG!
Totally.

devil went down to georgia

If you don't already, please go read Bai Ling's blog. It will change your life.

in the links.

Friday, April 4, 2008

party all the tiiiiiiiime

oh god. maybe it's better if you're high or drunk for this...



lolz

this one's also hilarious but for a totally different reason

Thursday, April 3, 2008

canadians are the jews of the north

I coined a new saying in the comments of Stuff White People Like... I think it's really going to catch on.

um, it's the title, if that wasn't clear.

you'll always be my baby

OK SERIOUSLY



How many colors does she have this jacket in? I think she has more of this jacket than I have leggings.

ok also John McCain made a statement that I think he was kidding about but, pop culture-wise, may have been what Regina George would call social suicide. Unfortunately, since I have taken a vow of silence on the related parties (not John McCain), I can't discuss it. Do your own research, trust me, it's horrifying.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I loved the way she said l.a.

check this out...

www.topoftherocknyc.com

it's just like... a lookout-type place in New York, which is obviously very tourist-y, and there isn't anything actually very relevant about it (to me), but I really like how the website customizes for you.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

ayatollah's in iran, russia's in afghanistan

so ummm...



anybody got any stereotypes about Arab people?? ANYONE??
I get what she's going for, but putting that out to anonymous youtube commenters, arguably the world's cruelest race, may be... ill advised, at best.
I can't wait to see what happens!

side note, queen is hot, yeah? good job.

out of cape cod tonight

LOOK AT THIS CHILD:



And tell me it doesn't make you want to weep that she's pregnant. and wearing an engagement ring. oh jamie lynn... you're breaking my heart.

on that note, I was reading an old In Touch yesterday, because I was THAT bored, and a quote from one of JL Spears' friends was "she loves Care Bears, she played with them until a couple of years ago." AAAAAAHHH THEN NO BABIES!!!

It's sad that she feels the need to hole up during this whole thing... but at the same time, she SHOULD be kind of embarassed, it IS really stupid, she IS too young... and when she does go out, posts like this one get written. So, touche, Jamie Lynn.

in the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight

hahaha good job youtube... go click a featured video.

eta: oh man. Good job Google, too.

I don't even have *a* gun

CHECK IT OUT! Everything is Annoying is obsessed with Christian Lander too! The internet is so fun.