Wednesday, May 21, 2008

So there's this commercial for mercury insurance where they are joking about how they "need a cute mascot". Which is, clearly, saying 'don't be sucked in by the gecko' (so - guess Geico's doing well). Well... Fuck that. Wrong angle to take, Mercury, because the Geico gecko is the best thing to happen to commercials since a frog said "bud".

Stephen Colbert just had a ddr-off with Rain, the Korean (maybe? I hope) pop star that crazies flood the Time Top 100 People message board with plugs for, and who otherwise I have never heard mentioned until this point. Anyway, good choice, Rain's publicist.

living lohan is pure evil

I'm beginning to worry that kung fu panda might be really awesome.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

creative differences

because Christian Lander picture day was missed, I'm making it today. So here it is!

This is the picture of Christian Lander that was IN LA WEEKLY!! He's blowin' up!!! He was in the Los Angeles People of 2008 issue, which... seems a bit early in the year? but I'm so proud of him! I mean, despite not actually knowing him. Oh Christian, let's hang out. You can even bring your wife. Seriously.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Hot Canadians: Shenae Grimes

Shenae Grimes is our new reigning hot Canadian, as our last May candidate fell apart mid-article. He should really learn to keep it together.

Shenae Grimes is gorgeous. Here's what I assume is a personal photo and it makes me kind of love her.

She is really very normal-girl gorgeous but still manages to be unique and interesting, and she truly has a star quality, I believe. She is from Toronto and is only 18, young even for the Degrassi cast (before the new characters were added she was the youngest).

Shenae Grimes is Darcy on Degrassi. Darcy... until very recently... was so fucking awful. Not PLAYED awfully by any means, so no flack to Shenae. But Darcy was a very frustratingly self-righteous bible thumping cheerleader and everything she was involved with became incredibly convoluted and hypocritical to the point where you could just dive through the tv and shake her. this is what she looks like in the credits:

Here's a rundown: Darcy's first appearance was as the girl who Toby paid 5 bucks to kiss Rick because Rick felt bad that he was getting slaughtered in their bet that they could get more girls to kiss them in a day (Rick lost because everyone hated him because he put Terry in a coma). I am 99% sure that was her first speaking role, though she may have had a line as a cheerleader previously. Anyways. She slowly worked her way in later after Rick shot Jimmy and subsequently shot himself and then Spinner admitted that he had told Rick that Jimmy had pulled the prank that led to the shooting and then all of Spinner's friends hated him and so he was completely alone and befriended Darcy, the only person in a while to be nice to him. They were clearly flirting and then she invited him to Friendship Club, the Christian club. Spinner found their welcoming attitude and lack of judgement over his previous discretions comforting, and so he became something of a member and he and Darcy started dating. She was a virgin, he wasn't (duh, Paige). There was some drama here and there, mostly Spinner being something of a dick and Darcy overreacting because she took everything as a moral outrage because she had no defined personality. Also she was (during this and sometimes after) incredibly self-righteous and judgmental, (the best example being her refusing to let Mia onto the cheerleading squad, despite her being perfect for it, because she was a teen mother). Then her identity crisis started to take over and she started posting racy pictures of herself on the internet, which progressed to nearly porn-like levels when Peter's "friend" Adams, a reader of her blog, offered money for more pictures and she agreed because cheerleading wanted sluttier shorts, and Peter, who sucks, took the pictures. Then Adams, the online stalker, turned out to not be Peter's friend but just a perv and he showed up at her house and there was this whole to-do. Before that, Peter, who sucks, showed Danny and Derek the pictures,and Spinner found out, and they broke up. Then he slept with Paige, then she took him back, then she found out he slept with Paige, then they broke up, then she went to bible camp for the summer and then... they're friends.


Then, somehow, I sort of forget because it was pretty gradual, her and Peter started dating. Hmmmm I really can't remember the specific tipping point. But she was still really internally conflicted about the whole picture thing and sort of got depressed and then she got drunk while at a party at some resort or something and then she got drugged and raped. WHOA. Peter and her broke up because she didn't remember so he just thought that she got drunk and lost her virginity to someone else, and once she remembered she was too ashamed to talk about it, but she finally did and he was pretty supportive... but in the midst of all this she completely lost it and was totally bitchy to everyone, and worst of all, totally started blatantly flirting with Mr. Simpson, and then when he gave her a low grade she said that he had been flirtatious with her and essentially ruined his life because even though she came clean and got cleared... once that kind of thing is out there there's always the slight question, you know? it's really heartbreaking. Anyways. Then she went on this retreat with the kid who killed JT's friend and Peter and some other bad kids, and she finally realized it's not her fault.


Now her and Peter are dating and she is sort of becoming friends with Spinner's new girlfriend Jane, who I'm not sure if I care for yet, and she's finally humbled and a genuinely good person.

Got it?

So, she's also been cast as the lead character in the new 90210 (which I am skeptically excited about). That's kind of huge, both because that show is going to generate a TON of hype despite how good it ends up being and will raise her recognizability significantly, and because as far as a I know no other Degrassi kid has yet had a starring role in another show (or even a major role on a non-N show). Pretty major. Her character has been described as "the Brenda", and is named Annie Mills. This is the character that Hilary Duff was going to play (hypothetically). The show centers around 3 generations of her family. The only well known adult cast on the show is Lori Loughlin which means... she might be playing her mom? Loughlin looks way too young for that to me (although she isn't), but okay.

Here's a picture of her at some CW party...

Shenae Grimes is, clearly, kind of awesome. Shenae sang a part of a Christmas record by some band called Fucked Up, with Nelly Furtado and others. Apparently in the song, Shenae wishes Toronto-ans a "Merry fucking whatever!"... which is lovable.

So there you go. Shenae Grimes: Up-and-coming Canadian, and a friend to you and me. And, hopefully, the gays.

I'm still a PC, but the pull is strong

So maybe this is retarded. But doesn't PC stand for Personal Computer? Are Macs not personal? Maybe the PC market should push that angle. Macs: sleeker and trendier, and with Justin Long, but not confident enough to put "personal" in their name. THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU!

(Not-So) Hot Canadians: Danso Gordon

This is Danso Gordon. Say hello.

He's Canadian! I was watching South of Nowhere, The N's best show besides Degrassi (and maybe as good now that those crazy Canadians have gotten all slicked out and popular), and I thought, are these actors Canadian too? I checked Mandy Musgrave and Christian... Something (the two girls) first, because they're the main characters, I guess, but they're from DC and Florida (reverse respectively). But! Then I checked this feller out, and he's from Toronto!

well, this is where this ends. Doing some research, I found that he left South of Nowhere due to their "pro-homosexual agenda". I guess everyone has a right to their own opinion, but I can no longer include him with the likes of the joyous Christian Lander and Tokyo Police Club (though, admittedly, I do not know their views on homosexuality, I do know that their DISLIKE of homosexuality is not something that has been relevant enough to be included on their wikipedia page (and Christian Lander IS searchable on Wikipedia, I checked, although it does redirect to the "Stuff White People Like" page. Which is acceptable for now)).

I may decide to take this down, but I'm feeling bold right now so here goes.

you could literally cruise the vistas in it

So... I read this somewhere else, but it ones to be one of the names I liked for MY (hypothetical) kids, so I feel like I should publicly agree... No more naming your kid Madison. It's like naming your kid Courtney in 1995. Basically, it was so original and cute like 6 years ago, when everyone in my age bracket was in their mid-teens, which is when girls decide on these names that they hang onto for years until they have children. But... now it's everywhere. I THINK it was the top girl's name last year. That's crazy. Like, above Sarah or Elizabeth. What happened to the classics? So, here's the thing. EVEN if you liked it before it was popular, it's now played out. Don't do it. I could go on but I think you get it. The name is over, and... Shiloh is the new Madison (Suri is a cuter name but no one wants to be like TomKat), so if you're 16, think of something else. I promise, you'll be happy you did.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

come to cali and get gay married!

I am sooooo into andrew from top chef. I'm watching last nights right now and I feel like he is getting kicked off, which breaks my heart. He is such a tweaker but I think he is hilarious. Bravo always brings the hotties.

Monday, May 12, 2008

you know you love me

I fucking KNEW the cheating was a cover up... Although I'm pretty sure that what actually happened is going to be anticlimactic, like they were all on drugs and some dude died and she didn't save him. But... Man this show is awesome. Why is chuck so hot??

This ep really could use some jenny though

Friday, May 9, 2008

farmer shouldnt wear girls v neck shirts

Ok so I'm from the midwest and maybe life is just way different there... But, I'm watching farmer wants a wife and... Do people really get to age 21 without ever having milked an animal? Like... I haven't milked anything recently, because I don't really care about animals and whatever, but with preschool and summer camp and field trips and all that, I've probably milked 20 cows or so, not to mention a few goats. God maybe growing up in the midwest is really weird, even as I'm writing this I can see how insane it looks to someone from like LA. We also call parking structures "ramps", btw.

But also my entire willingness to accept the premise of this show was blown, because he showed up to the girls' house in overalls over a purple deep v neck t that I'm pretty sure I have and is american apparel. So, either a) he is getting dressed by producers who are retarded, b) he is gay or c) he is not a farmer. My guess is d) all of the above.

ALSO, politics has been brought up entirely too much. People get uncomfortable when characters are vocally opposed to their political views.

I should sleep, but duty calls.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

solve any crime by dinner time

so I guess I'm like the only person in the world that thinks Mary-Kate looks awesome in this outfit...

And it's not even because I love her. I love the gold, I love the shoes, I love the vintage-store-find type cut of the dress, I love the messy hair... she looks great. I really don't see what people aren't liking? Like, they're commenting that it's "too big" but... it's not. And they're commenting that it's too drapey, but... drapey is a look too, deal with it. And they're commenting about her hair looking bad but... HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO DO THE MESSY/HOT THING? It's hard and I love it.

Even weirder is that everyone's talking about how amazing Ashley looked, and while she does look like a real live grown up in that dress, she also sort of looks like she just got a chemical peel or something...

I mean, right? She looks weird. She looks like Marcia Brady. Or like she needs a shower. Or some combination thereof. Ew, actually, I figured it out, but it's too terrible... in the picture to the left, she looks like Dominique from Next Top Model (the one who's on right now)... and if you're watching you're aware that that is not a compliment. Pull it together, Ash, are you wasted?

Also, MK is wearing like 3 inch heels, what the hell shoes is Ashley rocking to pull this height difference off?

Monday, May 5, 2008

wii boxing is the new morality

Ok so on The Paper (a show of near Hills quality, I have an icky 17 year old crush on Alex), Alex, managing editor, said to "the guys", "Ms weiss should totally have based her decision for editor in chief on a game of wii boxing". Okay? And also tonight on Big Bang Theory (which is amazing), all the nerd guys are fighting over Sheldon's hot twin sister and Leonard says "let's settle this in a mature fashion" or something along those lines, and then it flashes forward to them Wii boxing... !! Weird right?

Sunday, May 4, 2008

I don't think PretyBoy is as bad as they're acting

Are there commercials for California in other states? The ones I just saw are on E(!) so I guess maybe it's because people watching that channel are into Hollywood or whatever? But why are they in California? We already live here. Unless they're aimed at the tourists who are in town and happen to be watching tv... but that seems like a pretty small target market.

shut up about the miley cyrus pic disney your next biggest star is pregnant

know what's really weird? nerd sex.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Barack Obama left a comment on your blog

Things you can't do coked up is the funniest shit ever. Followed closely in awesomeness by Barack Obama is your new bicycle. Aaaaand there's 2 hours of your day.